When you are going through a difficult time financially, it can be a blessing when a loved one offers to help.

What would you do if your in-laws always offered to help, but you always declined, but then one time they offered, and you accepted, but then they tried to back out?

That is what happened to the man in this story, so the husband insisted they follow through with their offer.

AITA for limiting my interaction with my in-laws over financial matters.

I (36M) have been married to my wife (33F) for 8 years now.

I bet this was a big change.

We immigrated to Canada 6 years ago, and had very humble beginnings.

That is when my wife started asking for things which I considered beyond our means e.g. luxury bags, wanting to rent luxury condo vs apartment, travel, latest phones.

Financial issues are a major problem in some marriages.

Anyway, we ended up having countless arguments over the years over financial decisions which spoiled our relation.

So much so that parents on both sides had to get involved on multple instances.

That is very generous of them.

At all these instances, my somewhat affluent parents in law repeatedly suggested “what their money is good for if they cant help us past these tough times”, essentially offering monetary help.

I would always politely decline, considering myself to have high self-respect and to avoid being indebted to my parents in laws for the rest of my life.

Sometimes accepting help is ok.

In return, instead of being respected for my self-respect, I was always told something to the tunes of “we want to help you but you refuse to be helped”.

Anyway, these events would not stop and one thing led to another and I eventually I decided (for my own mental peace) to never again decline any monetary offer from my parents in law.

Wow, that is very generous.

So, the next time a similar event took place, my parents in law got involved and offered to pay half of our mortgage (to lower our monthly installment and ease our financial burden), which was a lot of money.

So I accepted their offer. Now after my acceptance of their offer, they have tried various means to backtrack on their original offer to a lower amount, but I declined and now I insist they fulfill their original commitment.

I think he took things too far the other way.

This has caused a lot a issues between me and my parents in law (I do not let this affect my relation with my wife), so much so that we now barely talk.

Its been like this for 3 years now.

This is getting to be pretty rude.

Reality is, I don’t care about the money as we live comfortable lives now and don’t really need that money anyway, but I insist they extend the monetary favor they committed (part of the reason for my insistence being they having played a negative part in my married life throughout with their many interferences and “monetary offers” which only fueled financial arguments between me and my wife.

I would say he is being unreasonable.

My wife has made peace with the salty relation between her parents and me, but I was not sure if I’m being unreasonable here?

I kind of enjoy the peace this has brought me as I no longer hear fake offers, and my parents in law having promised to never interfere in our matters, and we try to live peacefully within our own means, not to mention our arguments over financial issues are almost non existent now.

Maybe it is time to let them out of their commitment.

So, I’m in a kind of win-win situation, except for the now salty relation with my parents in laws (who I believe deserved this).

I have essentially conditioned normalization of relations with my in-laws on their fulfillment of the commitment they had made.

AITA here?

This may be a cultural thing.

I think he is petty as well.

They really should not be making the offers.

This commenter likes the move.

I do understand his frustrations.

Money fights can cause big problems.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.