Imagine going to law school. You’re focused on your education. That’s your top priority.

If your aunt asked for legal advice, would you put your education on the back burner to help her, or would you tell her you don’t have time?

In this story, one young woman is in this exact situation. She tried to be polite while also being honest, but her mom thinks she was just rude.

Let’s read the whole story.

AITA for telling my aunt I couldn’t help with her legal issue?

I’m 23F, finishing my law degree (not from the US so timeline is different) and currently focused on my dissertation. I’m not admitted yet and will be starting at a firm next year, so I’m cautious about what I say regarding legal matters.

I live at home and my aunt visits our home frequently, and most of the time it’s to ask for help understanding something “legal.”

She used to do the same with my dad (who isn’t a lawyer), asking him to read judgments and interpret court decisions.

Her aunt sounds annoying.

During a recent dinner at our place, she asked me what I was doing this summer.

And I told her I’m working on my dissertation and balancing that with some time off.

She dismissed that and repeated that well you have nothing on so help me with my case.

I reiterated that I’m committed to my dissertation.

Her mom thinks she was rude.

I still tried to be polite and asked her what the drama was about so she could vent.

Instead of answering me, she explained the entire situation to my mother in another language I don’t understand, so I wasn’t able to follow any of it.

After she left, my mum told me I was rude and should have acted more willing to help. She said that if I had sounded more enthusiastic (her example being “yes what is going on tell me so I can help you!!”), my aunt would have spoken in Canto/Mando. She also said I should have offered to “refer her to someone,” even though I don’t know anyone in her area of law and would simply be searching the internet like anyone else.

What is her mom’s problem?

This isn’t the first time something like this has happened.

On a separate occasion, this aunt asked me to find a lawyer for her friend.

I found one on Google that seemed reputable and basically told her that they look good based on reviews on GOOGLE, but I can’t personally vouch for them since I don’t know anyone in that field nor anyone who works at that particular firm.

My mum said the disclaimer made me sound unhelpful and that I should have just handed over the name with more enthusiasm.

It could be a cultural issue.

I think a bit of context of my families ethnic background may be relevant?

My mum is Asian and grew up with cultural expectations around helping extended family and showing willingness, even if you can’t ultimately do much.

My dad is white and I grew up in a Western country, so I tend to communicate more directly which sometimes leads to mismatched expectations between us.

Her mom doesn’t get it.

Also, I’ve tried explaining that in law you have to be upfront about your limitations and avoid giving the impression you can guarantee anything, especially when you’re not admitted.

But of course, my mum thinks I’m taking things too seriously and that no one would interpret my words that literally, even though on the off chance they did take it seriously, I would be the one bearing the burden, not her.

The disagreement ended up souring the mood in the whole house, and now I’m being treated as though I was rude during dinner.

AITA for being honest about my boundaries and what I can realistically offer?

Her mom is clearly the problem here, and the aunt sounds pretty entitled.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

This person thinks it’s just a misunderstanding.

Another person thinks the aunt is rude.

Here’s another suggestion for how to handle situations like this in the future.

Or, she could try out her acting skills.

Her aunt was the one who was rude.

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