Would you be happy or upset if a visiting family member went grocery shopping without talking to you first and surprised you with way too many groceries?

We’re talking so many groceries they won’t all fit in your refrigerator and freezer!

The woman in this story was in this situation when her mother-in-law went shopping at Costco, but it’s an even bigger problem because she had just gone grocery shopping the day before!

Let’s read the whole story.

AITA: Is this a boundary overstep or generosity?

My (32f) mother in law (70f) came into town a week ago, visiting from NY.

On Monday night, I send a text message to MIL and husband around 12pm that the groceries for the week will be delivered between 4-6pm.

I always meal plan, have the ingredients delivered, and cook fresh meals for our family which includes two toddlers (2 and 4).

MIL helps unload all the groceries and says “I wish I had known you were ordering groceries so I could have told you what to buy so I can make a meal!”

I say no worries, I don’t mind cooking.

Her MIL went to Costco.

On Tuesday, I am remote and MIL tells me that she is going shopping at Costco.

She arrives back home 3 hours later with three huge boxes of food, mostly pre-made meals and HUGE boxes of frozen foods that will NEVER fit in our freezer.

She also bought a rotisserie chicken for our dog?

I am a FT WM, my husband works a side hustle on weekends lately.

Her MIL bought way too much food.

She shows me the amount of food she bought ready to eat (ungodly amount) and all I can manage to say at the time is I don’t think this is going to fit.

I just bought 6lbs of meat for the week. I do not have room to store the meat I just bought or the new frozen goods in our little freezer – it’s full.

Again, I pre-planned and purchased all the groceries for the week (~$250) as I normally do.

I guess her MIL maybe doesn’t like cooking?

I pickup the kids and return to the house and she says “Well, do you think I got too much?”

At which point I tell her I was surprised she bought all this food since I just shopped the day before, in a kind way.

She responds “You really like cooking don’t you!?”

I say, “yes, and I just wish we had a conversation before you purchased all this food since I already shopped and now I’ll need to figure out freezing the food.”

It’s not really helpful since OP already bought food for the week. Maybe it would’ve been helpful if she hadn’t done the grocery shopping yet.

She asks “what food!?”

She says “If someone had done this for me when I was younger, I would have been so HAPPY!!”

Then says “I just thought it would be easier for you to not have to cook every night!”

And I said “yes, that would be nice, but I am concerned about the amount of food.”

She goes to a more aggressive “I can go return it if you want me to!” to “I’ll give it to my brother!!”

I reassure her that we can work it out, but I only wished there had been a small conversation, and that next time we can plan the meals together.

She looked stunned and mad at that comment.

She tried to apologize.

My kids dont eat the food and I go to my room after bedtime and have a good cry (hormonal) and she goes to bed.

The next morning, I apologize to her, trying to smooth things over.

I tell her I am thankful for the things she bought and followed up that it was just a communication issue.

She said “I was thinking I can’t come out here again!” and later told my husband the next time she comes out it will be at a hotel and only with her significant other.

She didn’t stay very long!

Today (Wednesday) she tells Husband she is now going to another city to visit her brother for 2 days.

I’m assuming she is doing this to send me a message.

She has a strong history of poor relationships, even her own family.

AITA?

It’s not helpful to go grocery shopping without a list for a family who literally just bought groceries. The MIL may have meant well, but she should’ve had a conversation first.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

Make it make sense!

Here’s an idea of the mother-in-law’s perspective.

It wasn’t really crossing a boundary.

Here’s a suggestion to get the mother-in-law to understand the problem.

Being forced to accept a gift that you don’t want isn’t exactly generosity.

Thought that was satisfying? Check out what this employee did when their manager refused to pay for their time while they were traveling for business.