Co-parenting is complicated, and as children get older it becomes difficult to keep up with all of the activities and expenses.

But is it even really co-parenting if one of the parents is never really around?

That’s the situation for this woman and her son, but after signing him up for a new sport, his dad is mad about the cost and effort.

Now, she isn’t sure if she did the right thing. Let’s get all the details…

AITA – I signed my kid up for a travel sport and didn’t ask his dad.

My son (M) age 12, is with me 95% of the time since he was a toddler. No custody agreement, no child support agreement (we do it on our own, less than what the state would require).

His dad has always chose to work a career that requires significant travel & is gone for weeks. Throughout the year he may be home for a week or 2 but that is few.

My son may see him a day or 2 twice a month. His dad & I used to have somewhat good communication, however, that has changed in recent years.

I wonder what changed…

He’s married with other children now. When my son is playing sports I try to remember to send his dad pics, videos, etc. since he’s not there.

He doesn’t ask for them but I try to make a conscious effort to send them. My messages are met with silence, no reply.

He also doesn’t contact me to see how his son is doing in school, how his behavior is, what he’s involved in, you get the picture.

That doesn’t seem like a very present dad.

The only time I hear from him is when he knows he’s going to be home & would like to get our son (usually a day or 2 notice). It’s frustrating but I’ve accepted it over the years.

I raise my son alone & his dad pops in & out. My son lives with all women (my daughters & I).

I try to get him involved in activities that allow him to be around the guys & have strong male mentors consistently in his life.

I’m already involved in the travel sports world so when this opportunity came along, I knew the demand. This program is not as demanding as others.

This is my son’s favorite sport & he’s always sad when the school season is over so I thought it was the best opportunity to keep him involved. So I signed him up. I didn’t think twice.

I already knew the weight would be on my shoulders to get him to practices, take him to tournaments etc. It was a great opportunity & I can make it happen so I did it.

Let’s see what his dad thinks…

I text his dad telling him about it. 7 days later I reply to my original text saying “You haven’t replied to this” to which his response was he wants to support our son, but we should have talked about it first, that I was “volunteering” him for quite a bit of money & that I’m imposing on his time with our son.

He also said “I also have other children & a family now so plan making involves them as well & isn’t as easy as it was in the past”.

He’s definitely upset with me, which I could understand if he was at least home every week & took interest & initiative in his son’s life.

I asked him to contribute 2 of the large equipment items, the rest I figured out. I also didn’t demand it happen immediately, I found some loaner equipment until he was able to get it.

I didn’t think a couple of weekend practices which is normal when kids get older, would wreck his plans. I’ve always been the one to take my son to practices, games, or workouts.

Let’s get into the comments.

This person thinks there’s two things she should do.

Another person had questions about their arrangement.

Most people agreed that she didn’t do anything wrong.

And others had some tough love to give!

The moral of the story here is get the court involved!

In my opinion, if he’s going to be an uninvolved dad, he doesn’t get a say.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.