When we get married, most of us truly intend to love that person (including all their foibles) for the rest of our lives.

But there is no question that, at one point or another, they’re going to get on our nerves.

Sometimes this might even get serious, causing bumps in the road for the relationship.

But with love and determination, we’ll get through it – if we want to, of course.

For the couple in this story, however, certain factors are leading to some major bumps, and it’s starting to affect the whole family – and their plans for the holidays.

Read on to find out what happened.

WIBTA if I cancel my family’s Christmas vacation over hotel accommodations?

I am a woman in my forties, and I’ve been married to my husband (male, forties – let’s call him Jake) for over ten years. We have three kids under the age of eight.

We are supposed to visit my mother-in-law for Christmas this year.

We’ve been talking about this trip since last spring and I’ve said a couple of times that I want two separate hotel rooms due to Jake’s snoring.

We haven’t slept in the same bed for over five years.

Let’s see how this has become a problem in their marriage.

For a while, as long as he didn’t drink or smoke and wasn’t sick, Jake wouldn’t snore – but he generally wasn’t willing to stick to that for more than a day or two at a time.

He’s slowly gained more and more weight, so now he snores no matter what, but drinking/smoking makes it go from loud to deafening.

Well, Jake didn’t book two hotel rooms.

Instead, he booked a suite with two bedrooms, but there are no doors (it’s a nice but quirky hotel we’ve stayed at before.)

Read on to find out how she feels about this.

Jake has a habit of forgetting or delaying things like this and then, at the last moment, he basically twists himself into knots trying to make everyone happy.

In reality he makes no one happy, but everyone feels bad for him because he tried to hard so we all just go along with him.

Jake’s current solution is that he and one to three of the kids would stay with his mother and I could stay in the suite, or they would go without me.

Neither of these are acceptable to me.

She has plenty of reasons why she’d be unhappy with both of these arrangements.

I want to be with my family for Christmas, and I don’t see the point in going on vacation but not being together.

Jake is mad at me because he and his mother had talked about booking the suite instead of the two rooms while I was in the room, but I wasn’t paying attention because I wasn’t really involved in the conversation.

There are also a couple of other issues which are making me less than enthusiastic about this whole trip.

First, we’d either have to take a connecting flight or spend about $2000 per ticket (our kids are new travellers and so the airport will either be fine or a total disaster).

And her second reason is even more stressful.

Second, my mother-in-law has been causing some issues in our marriage.

Jake and my mother-in-law will talk about and plan out things involving our kids or our home, and then not tell me about them until the last minute, so I either need to agree or I’m accused of being controlling and overly sensitive.

I wonder if I would be wrong for canceling everything, because we’ve already talked to the kids about the trip and they’re excited.

Jake is excited to show the kids the place he spent so much time and loved, and we haven’t gone to visit my mother-in-law since I first was pregnant.

WIBTA?

There’s a lot wrong here, and the snoring is the least of their problems.

Firstly, it really feels like this husband and wife aren’t on the same team. Sure we might get on one another’s nerves, sure we might have miscommunications every now and then, but it doesn’t seem like this couple effectively communicate ever.

Second, it’s Christmas. We all put up with a little discomfort when it comes to the holidays, especially if that means putting the kids first and bringing our loved ones together. To cancel this over snoring is petty to say the least – especially when alternatives have been suggested.

It’s almost like that’s not the problem after all.

Let’s see what the Reddit community made of this.

This person thought that both partners were the problem here.

While others encouraged the couple to find ways to deal with the snoring.

Meanwhile, this Redditor thought she was making excuses.

The way that this couple are approaching their problems is the issue here.

She doesn’t want to go. She doesn’t want to hear her husband snore, she doesn’t want to fly with the kids, and she doesn’t want to spend money to visit a mother-in-law she has issues with over the holidays.

Meanwhile, her husband isn’t making positive steps toward his own health and his family’s well being, and he’s proving not to be dependable (though at least he is trying to find solutions).

This is a mess – and the holidays are just the tip of the iceberg.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.