Imagine finding out your spouse is pregnant, but the hospital where she’s giving birth only allows three people in the delivery room with the pregnant mom. If you wanted your parents in the room, and she wanted her parents in the room, how would you decide who would have to wait in the waiting room?

In this story, one couple is in this situation, and they didn’t make the final decision until they got to the hospital. Now, the birth mom’s wife is having second thoughts.

Let’s read all about it.

AITAH for guilt-tripping my wife into having my mom in the delivery room instead of her dad?

I (30F) and my wife (32F) have been together for 5 years and married for 3.

About a year and a half ago we started our fertility journey through IVF.

The initial plan was for both of us to try getting pregnant at the same time, and whoever was successful first would deliver our first child, and we would trade off for the second kid.

Both of us have always wanted to get pregnant, so this method made the most sense.

There was good news and bad news at the same time.

The first major issue arose when we found out, in the same week, that she was pregnant and I was infertile.

Balancing the joy and grief from both of these events was hard for both of us, especially since she had taken it upon herself to share that we were expecting our parents without asking me first.

I still had some bitterness towards her after this, but got over it pretty quickly.

She had trouble breaking the sad news to her parents.

In all of the rush of preparing for a baby and both of us working full time jobs, there was never really a time I felt was right to tell my parents that I wasn’t going to be able to give birth.

So, during her whole pregnancy, I had to listen to them tell me how excited they were to do all of this with me in a few years.

I definitely should have told them sooner, but I think a part of me was still grieving and was worried that telling someone beyond my wife would make it too real.

She eventually told them the truth.

So, it was only a week before my wife gave birth that I had the conversation with them.

They took it horribly, and were devastated.

I am their only child, and even though they took my coming out well, there was still a big part of them that wanted the traditional “continuation of the bloodline” idea.

I felt like this was all my fault, and I needed to make it up to them somehow.

She realizes she made an assumption she shouldn’t have made without talking about it first.

My wife and I are massive planners, so when we were discussing everything that would go into our fertility journey, we each wanted only each other and our two parents in the room when we were giving birth.

So, her two parents and I would be there for our first kid, and my two parents and her would be there when I gave birth.

We hadn’t discussed this after finding out about my infertility, but my assumption was that my parents would get to be there for our first kid as well, because she would be giving birth both times.

In hindsight, I really should have talked to her about this, but it seemed really obvious to me.

It wasn’t until they were at the hospital that they even talked about it.

Unfortunately, when we were in the hospital waiting room after her water broke and our parents were on the way, she turned to me and thanked me for being so supportive and selfless with her as the only birthing parent, and said I was amazing for having such a hard conversation with my parents about them not being there for the birth of our kids.

This is where I might be a jerk.

After realizing that she expected my parents to wait outside well their first grandkid was born, knowing that, with this plan, they wouldn’t get to be there for the birth of the second either, I got a little angry at her.

But OP also forgot one of the hospital rules.

I started talking to her about how I had been so supportive, and so reasonable with letting her have all the attention without explaining to our friends that I had to give up something I’d wanted my whole life, taking the limelight away from her. The least she could do, I said, was let my parents get to be a part of the process.

We had drawn so much attention for the rest of the waiting room that she gave in and said that my parents could be there.

When we got to the room, though, I remembered why this hadn’t been our original plan.

The hospital we were at only allowed three support people in the delivery room.

Her wife’s decision about who to have in the room surprised her.

This gave me pause, and I figured she would ask for her parents and I, ignoring what I had just told her.

Instead, she had her mom, my mom, and I come in with her.

I felt incredibly guilty throughout the birth and afterwards, because I knew she would’ve wanted her dad in the room with her, and I was the only reason she didn’t have that.

She knows they need to talk about this decision.

It’s been a week since our kid was born, and we haven’t discussed this at all.

I know we need to talk about it so neither of us end up bitter, but I need to know how sorry I should be going into the conversation.

Were my actions even a bit justified, or was I just a complete jerk? I’m open to any and all advice here, I just really don’t want this to be a big fight with my wife.

AITAH for guilt-tripping my wife into having my mom in the delivery room instead of her dad?

It’s great that OP is asking for advice before jumping into this difficult conversation.

Let’s see what Reddit has to say.

This person feels sorry for OP’s wife.

Another person points out the horrible timing.

This person thinks OP’s parents didn’t belong in the delivery room.

Everyone agrees that OP really messed up.

The hospital was the wrong place to have this discussion.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.