Being in a bridal party used to mean showing up with a smile and a gift, but these days it comes with a lot more expectations and the price tag to match.

So when one man realized most of his sibling’s bachelorette weekend involved activities he couldn’t drink at or afford, he started doing the math.

Skipping out entirely was starting to look like the best option.

Keep reading for the full story.

WIBTA for backing out of my sisters bachelorette party?

I (20M) was invited to my sister’s (26F) wedding in August, and I was asked to be in her bridal party.

I am so happy for her and have been so psyched to help her plan.

But quickly, he realized things weren’t going in a good direction.

Her MOH is planning a bachelorette weekend for her and her bridal party, and honestly it sounds super fun, except it all kind of inherently excludes me, leaving most of the activities of the weekend as ones I can’t participate in:

• They will be doing a paint and sip and a trip to a winery, neither of which I can participate in because I’m not 21.
• The MOH asked everyone to purchase a set of underwear and we’re going to play a game where she holds it up and we guess who bought what set. I’m personally not comfortable with games like that when directed at my sister. Prudish? Maybe!

He feels conflicted about the financial aspect of it all.

I already paid the MOH $120 for my portion of the Airbnb, and I don’t want that back, but now she’s asking for another $110 to cover the activities, ON TOP of the underwear she wants us to buy out of pocket, and the expensive winery trip would also be out of pocket.

I’m 20 living in my own apartment with cats to feed and a car to pay for. I can’t afford that. I’m already scrounging to afford the suit I need for the wedding.

WIBTA for telling my sister I’m no longer wanting to attend, and take her to dinner or something on my tab to show her I still want to be a part of this?

Sounds like he and the MOH aren’t on the same page at all.

What did Reddit have to say?

This commenter thinks that if he told his sibling how he felt, she would understand.

These kinds of activities are clearly more suited for close friends, not siblings.

This commenter types out a potential script he could follow.

This commenter really doesn’t understand where the MOH is coming from.

At the end of the day, he needs to do what’s best for his wallet and his sanity.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman who was stunned when her friends finally admitted the reason for their falling out.