When a new neighbor stops by to introduce themselves, it is nice to be cordial and friendly, even if you don’t think you’ll end up close friends.

What would you do if your new neighbor stopped by to introduce themselves, but since you didn’t see yourself being close with them, you kept it curt and cold, which upset the new neighbor?

That’s what happened to the woman in this story, and now she wonders if she was too rude and burned bridges with her neighbor.

AITA for telling the new neighbor I don’t see us being friends?

My husband (36m) and I (29f) have lived in our neighborhood for about 5 years.

Sounds like a nice, quiet neighborhood.

Our house is towards the edge of the complex, and neither of us are very social, so we keep to ourselves. The rest of the people in our area tend to do so as well.

We had someone that moved in down the street maybe a month or so ago.

New neighbors can be fun.

Didn’t really know much about them except I noticed when we drove by that it looked like they had young children and that they had some political signs out in front that indicated we were on pretty much opposite sides of the political spectrum.

Two days ago there was a knock on the door. I opened it because I was expecting a package, and it was a woman about my age.

How nice of her.

She introduced herself as the new neighbor and started talking a mile a minute. She told me that she had three children, was a SAHM, was new to the area, and some other stuff that I don’t really remember.

Then she started peppering me with questions and seemed to get more and more disappointed as I answered.

Well, they don’t have much in common. That’s ok.

She asked if I had children (no), did we plan on having children (no), do I know any of the social activities in the area (no), do I know any local mom groups (confused no), do I ever babysit (hard no). You get the picture.

She seemed to run out of steam and almost pouted and said it didn’t seem like we did much at all.

This seems like good advice.

I laughed and told her that my husband and I preferred things quiet and kept to ourselves, but that the neighborhood seemed to get a bit more busy and social closer to the center of it because there was a school so maybe she could find something more what she was looking for there.

She said she was hoping to get to know her close neighbors and told me to come over for coffee sometime and I could meet her kids and husband.

Kind of awkward, but not mean.

I thanked her politely but was honest and told her it didn’t seem like we had much in common and I couldn’t really see us being friends, but that I was sure she could find a good mom group at the playground towards the center of the neighborhood.

She got visibly angry and asked if my husband was as big of a jerk as I was and I thought for a moment then said yeah.

Honestly, I can see why she was upset.

She stomped off. I might have been a jerk because I was direct and didn’t give her much of a chance but I just don’t think we would have mixed well.

AITA?

Just because you don’t want to be friends with them doesn’t mean you have to be rude or short with them. I think she was a bit harsh.

Let’s see what the people in the comments think about this story.

This person doesn’t think she did anything wrong.

This really is a tough situation.

Yes, but getting to know your neighbors isn’t a bad thing.

There is a fine line between blunt and rude.

Did she really say it in a very polite manner though?

She was cold, but not entirely out of line.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a tenant who called the landlord after they hadn’t seen or heard their neighbor in days.