Suffering the loss of a parent is a horrible situation at any age, but if it tragically happens when you are a child or a teenager, it can be even worse. That’s because parents should provide the stability and love that a child needs to grow, and when one parent is lost – through no fault of their own of course – the shockwaves that run through the family can be staggering. In short, children need significant amounts of support to grieve the loss of their parent in whatever way feels natural to them, with no expectations or parameters around how long that grieving process will take. Because to an adult, death is horrible, but to a child, the death of a parent can feel like their entire world has fallen apart.

So it goes without saying that if, after the death of a spouse, the surviving parent wishes to pursue a new relationship, this needs to be done with the utmost consideration for the children. The adult might feel ready to jump into a new relationship, but the child might not feel ready for that at all. After all, they’ve just lost one parent, so they need the other parent to be there for them – and seeing their attention diverted might not only feel like they’re no longer supported, it might also make them feel alone in grieving and missing the loss.

When the guy in this story decided to remarry, just months after the death of his wife, his daughter understandably struggled to accept the new relationship. But the way that her dad and new stepmother treated her after the marriage only cemented that sense that she was neither understood nor cared for, while she went through the most difficult period of her life.

Read on to find out what happened here.

AITA for expecting my daughter to welcome her stepmother and stepbrother on our family vacation?

I (48, male) lost my wife to cancer a year ago. It was very devastating for myself and my daughter, Emily (17, female).

Three months ago, I remarried to an amazing woman, Jess (41, female). We’ve been working together for several years, and she helped me out a lot when my wife was in the hospital during treatments.

Things have always been tense between me and my daughter, as she has always been a ‘mama’s girl’. They’ve been getting more tense since Jess and her son, Eli (eight, male) moved in two months ago.

To give background, my daughter and I live in a two bedroom, two bathroom house. When it was just us, my daughter and I each had our own rooms, but now that two more people have moved in, Jess and I thought it would be best if her son slept in my daughter’s room.

Let’s see how Emily felt about this change in the household.

Emily originally did not agree with this, but eventually came around when I told her it was either share a room or take the couch. I thought this arrangement was okay, because once she turns 18 I’m expecting her to move out on her own.

Other than the room situation, Emily has been hostile with Jess and Eli since they’ve moved in, and I cannot understand why she could have this resentment towards Jess, who has done nothing but try to be a motherly figure for Emily.

Now, we are planning a family vacation for me, Emily, Jess, and Eli.

Emily and I had made the vacation plans together right after her mother passed as a way for us to mourn together. I extended the invite to Jess and Eli after they moved in so we could all feel like a brand new family.

Yikes. Read on to find out how this guy’s parenting got even worse.

I originally booked two rooms, one for me and one for Emily so we could have our own privacy in the evenings. But Eli has insisted on his own room, so that he can feel like a grown up on his first ever vacation.

I told Emily about the new arrangement, and told her I could cover the cost of a new room for her, but only half. I can only do half because I am taking Eli to Legoland like he was hoping for this vacation. I am hoping that Jess and Emily will be able to bond while I bond with Eli and our family will be blended by the time we are back home.

I expected Emily to be okay with this, because she is a lot older than Eli and more mature than him. Instead, she totally freaked out and went off on both me and Jess, saying she feels like not only has her mother been replaced in eight months, but she’s also being replaced by the son I have always wanted.

I admit I have always wanted to be a boy dad, but that doesn’t mean I love Emily any less. I love Emily, and I really do miss her mom. But I feel like I deserve to move on and get on with my life and find happiness. Why doesn’t Emily want that for us?

AITA?

This story is so awful, featuring a father with such a complete lack of compassion for his daughter, that logic says it cannot be real.

However, there are plenty of genuinely awful, unfeeling people in the world, that there is a chance that poor Emily is being faced with this horrendous treatment.

And for Emily’s sake, it’s easy to say that, without a shadow of a doubt, her father is 100% the problem here.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a young woman who struggles with her new reality after learning her adoption story was a lie.
Let’s see what folk on Reddit made of this.

This person thought the father’s behaviour was too horrendous to be real – making it even worse if it was.

While others explained to him clearly exactly why he was in the wrong here.

Meanwhile, this Redditor expected his daughter to go low or no contact as soon as she turned eighteen.

His daughter is right. He clearly cared very little about his wife’s death, and seems to view his daughter as an obstacle to the perfect new life he is crafting himself. Not only did he expect her to accept a new woman and child into the family home less than a year after her mother’s untimely death, he expected her to give up part of her bedroom too, or else be forced to sleep on the couch. What did that tell her? That the new child was more important than her, and that the room that she’d spend her childhood in was as dispensable as the memory of her mother apparently was.

This girl is grieving. She will be grieving the tragic loss of her mother for a long time, and she isn’t going to just forget about her mom and the family life they used to have together just because another woman has taken her mother’s place in the family home and in her father’s bed. She should be given support at this truly horrible time for her, not be facing further upheaval and instability. She needs her dad right now, but he has run straight into the arms of another family. If this story is real, her father is a horrendous person. If it’s false, he’s even worse.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman who doesn’t want to go to the amusement park with her friend anymore, because the friend can no longer ride most of the attractions.