Remember Covid? That was a weird time, wasn’t it? If you lost someone you were close to, or had the horrible experience of someone you loved suffering and not being able to get close to help them, it was a truly tragic, heartbreaking situation. If you merely had to endure lengthy stints of lockdown, it was still a tough time though, especially if you were living alone or isolating with people you didn’t feel particularly safe or comfortable with.

In the end, the pandemic had different psychological impacts on everyone. For some, the time at home with family was actually a welcome change, showing them how different life could be when not forced into a 24/7 grind. For others, it was lonely and boring, frustrating and under-stimulating, a situation that they hope never to have to repeat (even though the worsening climate crisis makes this all the more likely, since shifting temperatures affect all sorts of factors that increase pandemic risk).

For the person in this story, the pandemic was a nightmare for one reason in particular: their roommate. He kept breaking lockdown rules, he was clearly having some kind of a breakdown – and increasingly, he was making his roommate and her best friend feel very uncomfortable.

Read on to find out why.

AITA for not wanting to be my roommate’s friend?

About five years ago, I rented a room from a friend (Ana) and her friend (John). One year later, we decided to part ways and everyone got their own place.

Ana and I stayed friends, and John and Ana also stayed friends. I didn’t know John before he moved in with Ana, and I never really maintained contact with him.

But one day, I ran into him. He mentioned that he had to move out of his new place and didn’t have a place to go.

Considering I had already lived with this person, I offered him my extra bedroom just until he could find a new place to live.

Let’s see how this arrangement went down over time.

Long story short, John never left.

I’m a private person, so I never really shared much with him and vice versa. So as far as I knew, John was just a guy renting a room from me, and him staying longer never became an issue.

Fast forward to 2020, lock down happened, etc etc.. John would mention feeling lonely, then have friends and girlfriends come and go throughout the duration of lockdown.

Lately, John has been trying to open up to me (I think), but it’s making me really uncomfortable. One morning I woke up to several texts telling me he couldn’t sleep and woke up feeling sad/lonely. He wanted me to stay up with him at 3am. I thought that was a little odd.

And things just kept getting weirded from there.

A few days after that, he cornered me in the kitchen to have a deep conversation about if I liked him as a friend. I remember saying something like “you’re cool, John!” before rushing out the door.

That same night I got a call from my best friend of twelve plus years, saying John reached out to them via Facebook asking to go have dinner. I was asked if I was also going and I told her I had no idea about dinner.

She then asked if I could just go to dinner with them to make it a group thing, and I agreed. I called John on the way to the place just to let him know that I was going.

He didn’t seem bothered at all, so I thought everything was good!

But at dinner, all was not well.

We got to dinner, and John just got a drink. As we were eating, John was on the phone making plans with different friends to hang out. He asked for the check, then said he was going to head out and meet with a friend. That was that.

My best friend has now told me that on several different occasions, John has called her via Facebook, crying. He’s feeling lonely, and wants my friend to hang out with him.

My best friend is married. So now I have my best friends husband (who I’m also really good friends with) asking me why my roommate is trying to “steal his girl”.

Of course, he’s joking… but I can tell it’s starting to bother them that my roommate is borderline harassing them.

Let’s see how all this has made her feel.

We literally have nothing in common and I honestly don’t like a lot of things that he does or says (not to be judgmental, but I get butthurt when people make ignorant jokes or don’t give a **** about covid, and that’s pretty much John).

I also don’t like being manipulated into doing things I don’t want to do, and that’s how I feel right now.

At this point, I think I’m just refusing to be his friend just because of that alone.

AITA?

Honestly, it’s clear that John is having a hard time right now.

He’s behaving weirdly, and everyone can see it – and the way that he’s making others feel isn’t okay.

Regardless though, it’s not his roommate’s responsibility to take care of him, and if they don’t click as friends, that’s not her fault.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about someone who asked their neighbor to move their fence off their property, then learned the neighbor was trying to claim their land as theirs instead.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit made of this.

This Redditor wondered how lonely he actually was.

Others even thought she should start the process of kicking him out.

However, this person thought she was wrong for not being completely transparent with him.

It’s true that it’s important to be honest. And by trying to tolerate John, his roommate is essentially lying to him, when she really doesn’t want to be his friend. But it’s clear that her heart is in the right place, and she doesn’t want to hurt this clearly vulnerable man.

Covid did really affect different people in unpredictable ways, and even though he clearly played fast and loose with lockdown rules, it’s possible that he simply was faced with isolation for the first time, and couldn’t cope with the reality check about his own life and connections. Sure he repeatedly flouted lockdown rules, and that must have sucked for his roommate – especially if she was working hard to uphold them – but that kind of destructive behaviour could have been a response to feeling completely alone and out of control.

However, she still has no obligation toward him. She might feel sorry for him – or, since he was putting her health in danger, she might not – but that doesn’t mean that she has to be friends with him. In fact, now he’s making her and her best friend feel uncomfortable, she might want to move to evict him, regardless of all the pain and drama that might cause. But one thing’s for sure, she shouldn’t have to keep tolerating this.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a tenant who decided to stop returning his neighbor’s misplaced laundry after two years.