Psychologically, growing up is a weird time – and that’s why it’s crucial for a child to have emotionally mature, responsible, caring and kind parents while their brain and their body matures. Anything else, and their psychological growth could be really affected, with the results of this affecting them well into their adulthood and beyond, touching the psychology of their own children too. So while children absolutely need boundaries and for their parents to uphold those boundaries, they also need kindness and consistency, and to be taught that they are loved unconditionally.

The teenage girl in this story believed that she had a happy childhood and a great family. So when her mother torpedoed everything she knew by cheating on her husband, the girl was understandably angry, as she watched her entire life change in an instant. It wasn’t just that her parents were divorcing and her home becoming an unstable place, it was the very fact that all that instability had been caused by the one woman she’d been brought up to trust without question.

As a result, she was angry with her mom, with that pain-fuelled distrust stretching through her teenage years, even after her dad had seemingly forgiven the infidelity and moved on with his own life. And finally, the lack of forgiveness by the daughter was too much for both her parents, leaving her feeling hurt and unheard.

Read on to find out why.

AITA for refusing to talk to my mother after she cheated on my father and started a new family?

I am fourteen (female) and my parents divorced about two years ago because my mom cheated on my dad.

It was a huge blow to our family, and since then, my mom has started a new life with the person she cheated with and is now pregnant with their child.

My dad has been trying his best to support me and my younger brother through all of this, and he believes that despite everything, I should give my mom another chance and try to rebuild our relationship.

But I’m still deeply hurt and angry about the betrayal, and I can’t bring myself to forgive her or even talk to her.

Let’s see how things are working out within this family.

Recently, my dad had to go out of town, so I stayed with my mom.

During that time, I was so upset that I ended up being disrespectful to her.

When my dad found out, he grounded me for my behavior, which made me feel like he’s taking my mom’s side.

When I was staying with my mom, I told her that I never wanted to see her new baby, and wouldn’t consider it my sibling.

Read on to find out how her mom reacted to that.

This made her start crying, but I just couldn’t feel any sympathy because of how hurt I am.

I don’t want to try to repair our relationship or talk to her right now, and my dad believes I should.

So am I wrong for refusing to talk to my mother after she cheated on my father, broke up our family, started a new life with the person she cheated with, and when she cried after I said I wouldn’t view her new baby as my sibling?

My dad thinks I should give her another chance, and grounded me for being disrespectful?

AITA?

There are a lot of folk in the wrong here, but this teenage girl is not one of them.

Sure, the dad got hurt when his wife cheated on him, but no one seems to understand how hurtful and destabilising this must be for the kids.

Instead of asking why she feels like she can’t forgive her mom and doesn’t want a relationship with her future sibling, and perhaps giving her the opportunity to actually process the trauma, she’s being punished for her words – and that’s never okay.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a young woman who struggles with her new reality after learning her adoption story was a lie.

Let’s see what folk on Reddit made of this.

This person explained that her feelings were completely valid – no matter what the people around her said.

While others thought it was time for her to go low contact with her mother.

And this Redditor explained that her dad was wrong by trying to force her to maintain a relationship with her mom.

Both parents seem to be completely blind to how the betrayal of the mother has affected the daughter. Because sure, she cheated on her husband. But for the daughter, that decision by her mom was the choice that blew up the family she’d grown up within, after which point it must have felt like every part of her life changed. The woman that she’d trusted had hurt everyone, and that hurt was unimaginable for a girl for whom – at such a young age – family is everything, parents should be reliable, and the home should be a safe and consistent place.

But her home was no longer her home, her mother had proved that she couldn’t be trusted, and now her father was seemingly punishing her for expressing her feelings? Sure, her dad is trying to do his best in a tough situation, but trying to force his daughter to see things a certain way, and pushing her to maintain a relationship that she fundamentally does not want is not the answer – in fact, it’s only going to drive them further apart. Instead, it’s important that he honours her feelings and wishes, and supports her the best he can – most likely involving therapy.

Because right now, she’s hurting. And sure, in the long run she might want a relationship with her new half sibling – after all, soon she’ll be grown, and with an adult’s mind she’ll likely see that the baby is blameless in all of this. But that’s not the case right now, because she’s fourteen and no one is letting her express her pain. Her mother’s tears and her father’s disapproval are all teaching her that her emotions are not okay, when really the only thing that isn’t okay is her mother’s infidelity. It’s no wonder she’s angry.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a thrift store employee who refused to play “guess the price” without seeing the item in question.