Some of us grew up in cities, amongst multicultural communities in which difference was normal and folk were encouraged to embrace one another’s cultural quirks and traditions without judgement. So we celebrated a different religious or cultural holiday every other week, because we were friends with people from all parts of the world, of all religions, and sharing in celebrations and cultural moments was normalised, wherever you personally came from.

Other people grew up in more homogenous societies, communities in which the majority – if not all – of the people around you were of the same ethnic background, the same religious beliefs, and most probably came from generations of people living in the same place. Here, difference meant strangeness, and while some communities are very welcoming and happy to embrace differences, other places saw that ‘strangeness’ as a threat, something to not be curious about but to be hostile to, and reject at all costs. And what a sad place to grow up, what a sad attitude to have.

The American woman in this story has been abroad once, to Europe for her honeymoon, and she’s very proud of that fact. Her daughter even married a Spanish man, and she’s very grateful for the grandchildren that have been borne from their marriage. However, a shock revelation when she was snooping on his computer led her to reject his culture, and to reject the multicultural upbringing that the couple are giving her grandchildren.

Read on to find out what it was that affected her so much.

AITA For telling my daughter how she should vacation with her family?

I am a 60-year-old woman, and my daughter (34) is married to a Spaniard (35, male – he is from Spain, not Mexico). Together they gave me the gift of two grandchildren (an eleven-year-old boy and a nine-year-old girl).

They live in the USA but visit Spain and Europe frequently, about once or twice a year, usually staying at his parents’ house. I wish I could be so lucky. I’ve only been to Europe once, during my honeymoon (I am now I divorced from her father)

Currently, I am visiting my daughter and her family for the Christmas holiday. I used my son-in-law’s computer to look something up online (I know I shouldn’t have, but his laptop was right there on the coffee table and all I needed to do was a quick Google search).

When I opened his computer, I was horrified to see my son-in-law’s email open to find out that he and my daughter have booked a vacation to a nudist resort in France with my grandchildren.

Uh-oh. Grandma’s snooping didn’t stop there either.

I dug a little further and clicked on the website of the resort to find that even children featured on there as well.

I guess you can say all of the images were “tastefully” done, because non-of their privates were exposed in the images, and I know that Europe is more liberal when it comes to nudity, but I can’t see my grandchildren being exposed in this way.

I confronted my daughter about it, and she was upset that I snooped, which I admitted was wrong. But she was also arguing with me, saying that I had no right to tell her where she could take her kids on vacation.

I simply tried to tell her how I was fine with her and her husband going to a place like that (though I wish I didn’t know about it), but not the grandkids, and how it is inappropriate for the kids to go to such a place because they could be preyed upon.

Yikes. Read on to find out how her daughter responded to that.

I also told her how I never paraded naked around her when she was growing up, and asked why she thinks it’s okay to be naked in front of the kids, especially my grandson.

She told me I was being overdramatic, and that they let the kids play nude on the Spanish beaches for years with my son-in-law’s parents, thinking nothing of it, calling it “Holidaying European style.”

She also informed me it was how her husband grew up, and many families in Spain still let their kids play naked on the beach.

I asked if my son-in-law’s parents were also naked when they went to the beach, and she said, yes, and again I was horrified. She told me this is why she never told me, because she knew how I would react.

And the argument didn’t stop there.

I told her I understood that they enjoy going to Europe to see my son-in-law’s family, but why can’t she take a normal vacation when she goes?

Then I started to tell her about the trip I took on my honeymoon, but she said tour groups are not the real Europe.

She told me that my son-in-law is Spanish, he is European, and that I am going to have to respect the cultural differences, and in how they are raising my grandchildren.

AITA?

Look, it’s completely understandable that this grandmother is concerned about her grandkids, and her own cultural norms are absolutely fine – for her.

But it’s not right to dictate how other people live their lives, when no one is being harmed.

We’re raised to think that everyone is a predator, but really that’s not the truth – and nudist beaches aren’t a sexual thing at all, despite what grandma might think.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a man whose celebratory post-grad school vacation is being ruined by his family’s insistence he’s being lazy.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit made of this.

This person pointed out how close-minded this grandmother was being.

While others called her out on all her other transgressions.

Meanwhile, this Redditor gave the grandmother a reality check on what nudity in Europe is like.

This is the truth of the matter: beaches on which clothing is optional (along with saunas and pools with similar policies) are not sexy, not at all. Rather, they encourage freedom and liberation, and are safe and judgement-free places. While the grandmother might think that they’d be full of predators, in fact it’s quite different, with strict rules in place to ensure the comfort and safety of everyone involved. People visiting the beach are strictly prohibited from engaging in any kind of sexualised activities, forbidden from taking photographs or videos without the express permission of everyone involved, while personal space is maintained and staring is avoided.

While the grandmother is seemingly concerned about her grandchildren seeing other people naked – even though this is, in reality, the most natural state for a human being – visiting nude beaches is actually thought to be a psychologically positive experience, since rather than only seeing perfect bodies in the media, visitors are exposed to all sorts of bodies, belonging to people of all shapes and ages, normalising difference and acceptance of imperfections.

But let’s be honest, it’s not about the kids really, is it? This is all about the grandmother’s sensibilities and prejudices. Things that aren’t normal to her? They’re simply not okay. Because her son-in-law is Spanish, but she has to clarify that he’s not Mexican, even though her use of the term ‘Spaniard’ immediately tells us which country he’s from. Just because she was never naked in front of her kids, apparently it’s not okay for her daughter to be. Especially the boy, because heaven forbid the child ever sees a woman’s body. She might think she’s protecting her grandchildren from predators, but she’s not – rather, she’s letting her own prejudices get in the way of her relationship with her family, telling them how to live their lives when she has no right to do that whatsoever.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a professor who missed a major funding deadline after they told their graduate student to leave them alone.