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It can be a challenge to get your kids up and to school in the morning, especially when people have to work. In many situations, it can be great when a neighbor can help give the kids a ride.

What would you do if you had been giving your neighbor friend’s kids a ride to school with you each morning, but you realized that it was stressing your autistic son out?

That is the situation that the father in this story was in, so he told his friend that he couldn’t give them a ride anymore. Now his friend is upset at the inconvenience it is causing, and he wonders if he was out of line.

Personally, I think that if this is what is in the best interests of his son, that is what he needs to do. Read through the full story below and see if you agree.

AITA for telling my friend no to a favor of driving her 2 girls to school 2x a week?

My friend, who also lives next door to me, has 2 young daughters that go to the same elementary school as my son.

Nobody likes being late.

We tried having them all ride together, everyday, in my car, but they were frequently late. My son is autistic and needs extra care in dealing with his feelings.

As he is almost 10 (in March), he has gotten a little better in explaining how he is feeling. A few months ago, he started saying he didn’t want to ride to school with the girls.

How sweet that he likes spending time with his parent.

It took some time to figure out why, but eventually, he said he just wanted to ride with me. I asked him if that was because he likes to have that time to talk about what will happen that day, and he said yes.

I also think he needs that time to try and get his mind ready to be at school all day. My son started getting upset every morning when he saw them getting into my car.

The neighbor isn’t entitled to rides to school.

We tried having them only ride with us for a couple days a week, but most times they weren’t ready when we were, and my son would still be upset that they were coming with.

My friend got very upset when I told her the girls couldn’t ride with us anymore. She said I was being hurtful to her and the girls, and that I was purposefully excluding them.

He already tried that, and it didn’t work out. What changed?

But, I have to make sure my son gets to school in a “good head space” so he can have a calm and stress free start to his day.

It’s been about 2 months since the change. My friend asked me today to do to her an “on going favor”. Drive her girls 2x a week so she can take her teenage son to a chiropractor appt before school.

He doesn’t need an excuse.

But the situation for my son hasn’t changed. I told her no. She then asked what excuse did I have this time.

In my opinion, whether we’re friends or not, asking someone for a favor does not mean the other person is required to say yes.

On top of his feelings, she sounds entitled and rude.

My son doesn’t want to ride with them, not because of them, but because of his own needs.

I told him his feelings are valid and no one has the right to tell him otherwise.

Not at all.

So, was I wrong for not driving her kids to school, eventhough my son gets upset and goes to school mad?

AITA?

The neighbor isn’t entitled to free rides for her daughters, even if it would be convenient. While it would be nice if he could help them out sometimes, he is not obligated to do that, especially if he has concerns for his son.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about it.

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Putting his son’s well-being first is important. Why would his friend expect anything else?

She does seem really entitled.

This might be a little harsh, but it might also be true.

The way his friend reacted shows that she doesn’t deserve any favors.

He is doing what is best for his son. If his friend doesn’t accept that, she is not much of a friend.

Giving a friend’s kids a ride to school is a really nice thing to do as long as it works out for everyone. In this case, however, it stopped working for his son, so he had to stop doing it.

There is nothing wrong with that, and the fact that his friend is getting upset about it shows how entitled she is.

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Author

Michael Levanduski