His Aunt Asked to Borrow Money for a Car Repair, But He Knows From Experience She Won’t Pay It Back, So He Said No
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A good rule of thumb in life is to never let a friend or family member borrow money unless you think of it more like a gift. Don’t actually expect the money back. If you do, it might be the end of the relationship since they may never pay you back. If they do pay you back, then that’s just bonus.
In this story, one man knew enough not to let his aunt borrow money from him, but she pushed the issue too far when she called him out for saying no in front of everyone.
It wasn’t just about not trusting her to pay him back (he knew she wouldn’t), but it was also about how he felt she wasted her inheritance.
Now, he’s wondering if he was too harsh when he snapped at her in front of the whole family.
Keep reading for all the details.
AITA for refusing to give my financially struggling aunt money?
My grandfather was a patriarchic ruler of the family, and when he died in the late 1980s, the family fell apart over some huge inheritance battle.
I was still a child back then. The family was quite well off at that time and there was a number of buildings to inherit.
Because of the battle, my dad paid more money for one of those buildings to pay out his siblings then it would have been worth on the market at that time, because they would not let him have it if he didn’t. He did this for sentimental reasons related to that building.
His parents sound like great parents.
Years later he went bankrupt with his business, was unable to pay the mortgage and lost everything.
Despite their financial struggles, my parents did everything they could to make sure I received a good education. I now have a good job and make good money.
My father died years ago. I help out my mom, whenever she needs something. Or sometimes just spoil her.
Meet OP’s aunt Jane.
Back then one of my aunts “Jane” married her husband “John”, because he is most beautiful man that ever walked the earth. He can’t do anything wrong and is a true genius with expensive taste.
Truth is he has never worked seriously a single day after losing his job a few decades (!) ago, but had fantastic business ideas that for some reason never made any money. (fantastic like in trying to sell sand in the desert.)
Both lived, mostly off the money, my aunt earned, and from whatever they received during the inheritance battle.
Some participants in that battle later reconciled, including my Dad and Jane. (I did not quite understand the whole reconciliation thing but nevermind…)
Jane is desperate for money.
Fast forward today: All the money is spent, and the couple now lives on the small pension, that my aunt is receiving. They are struggling, because they did not put money aside from that inheritance.
It is known Jane is “borrowing” money from other family members, without being able to pay it back.
A few days ago, we had a family gathering. At some point, when everyone else was busy doing something, Jane took me aside, asking for money for “a car repair”.
I refused politely.
OP snapped.
Later at the table, when everyone else was present, she said that I am having a well paying job and could easily afford to borrow her the money for that car repair.
Maybe she thought bringing up that subject in front of everyone would add some social pressure to her request.
I lost it and said that she had received a fortune from that inheritance and instead of preparing financially for retirement she had spent all of it to keep her great pretender of a husband in the pretending business. And I am not responsible for her financial decisions and that I will not allow her to cash in a second time, since she won’t pay it back anyways.
She snapped and rushed out.
The other family members told me petty, cruel and an AH.
AITA?
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I don’t know the whole story with the inheritance drama, and apparently, neither does OP, so it’s hard to know all the context about how OP’s words may have impacted his aunt. He was pretty harsh, but he doesn’t owe her a dime. I can understand being upset about what she said.
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Let’s see how Reddit feels about this story.
This person doesn’t think he did anything wrong.
Is it too late for a slow clap?
Another person is on OP’s side.
This person thinks she got what she deserved.
The aunt really must have been desperate for money to ask OP, have him say no, and then call him out in front of everyone, somehow hoping that would make him change his mind. It was exactly the opposite. Instead, he responded by calling her out on what she did. Who looks like a fool now?
She really did get exactly what she deserved.
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