A word to the wise…

It’s probably never, EVER a good idea to get romantically involved with a roommate.

And it’s even a worse idea if that roommate happens to be your landlord!

Sayyyyy whaaaaat?

Yes, folks, that’s what’s going on in this story.

The woman who wrote it opened up about what she’s dealing with and it’s enough to make even the most hardened person cringe.

Get all the details below and see what you think.

‘Situationship’ turned toxic, he also happens to be my landlord.

“I (F21) have been living abroad in France for the past 10 or so months as I have to complete a compulsory year abroad as part of my French degree.

Moving out here was a big thing for me at such a young age, and the logistics of finding an apartment/suitable guarantor/ making friends/ settling in etc. has been very difficult.

Things work a bit differently over there…

Particularly with the insanity that is French bureaucracy and that my university offered little to no support.

For various reasons I was unable to find an apartment, yet was obliged to live and work in France, so I went looking on a reputed website for ‘particulars’ that basically let you rent without a guarantor.

I lived for a month with a really nice family, but as the grandmother living there fell terminally ill, they could no longer accommodate me. They were also hoarders and the environment was not pleasant for me.

They said, however, that they had a nephew (M27) who would offer me very cheap rent to live in a spare room in his apartment without a guarantor. He owned this apartment but also lived there alone.

Sure, why not…?

This was in my budget and they attested that he was of good character and very respectful, and I thought living with a younger person would make it easier to live my life (the previous family had curfews and there were nurses coming in an out of the flat that was already shared by four people, which made it very difficult for me to live with them).

Anyway I decided to move in with this guy and it was great for about two months. We were clearly attracted to each other and talked about the possibility of getting together. Then after the ‘grace period’ if you will, his attitude or I suppose ‘true colors’ started coming out.

He’d be snappy with me, start taking cigarettes from my room, eating my food in the fridge, borrowing my toiletries without asking and much more. He said as we were close it shouldn’t matter and that I needed to learn to share. For someone without much money at all, I couldn’t afford to share my things to this extent.

Uh oh…

He also started saying things that alarmed me such as how he thinks his girlfriend or wife should cook, clean, and support him at home and essentially ‘serve’ him.

I realised quickly that we were quite different but I felt attached to him nonetheless as there were moments where he was lovely and made me feel like the most special girl in the world.

I know this sounds stupid but the extreme kindness and then sudden change in behavior really messed up my already vulnerable state of mind.

As the months passed by, his anger would get worse and frankly just the audacity of how he treated me.

This is way over the line.

He unfortunately assaulted me once in my sleep (I pretended not to be awake), justifying it by saying I wanted it to happen (we had spoken about how to potentially navigate a con/nonconsenusal scenario in the bedroom to help me deal with past trauma).

But I now think that that was a foolish suggestion on my part, and seemed to give him the green light to do that. As his behavior got worse and I was already struggling to make friends, I didn’t want to depend on his mood swings with me for my happiness so I thought I could try and get myself out there and went on a date with someone else.

I didn’t even really want to do this but I felt desperate for human connection, especially when things at home were so up and down. He got really upset and jealous when he found out about this so I crumbled and said that I wouldn’t do it again. I really regretted what I did as it ruined the good part of the relationship I had with him.

This guy is a serious creep.

Unfortunately from this point onwards, he stopped showing me any kind of affection and would very loudly talk to girls on the phone in front of me, and saying things to provoke me and make me more upset.

I know I saw someone else too so he has the right to do the same, but I guess the difference is he actually wants to see these girls whereas when I went out I was looking for companionship and just an escape from the stress at home.

The next few months progressed where he was seeing another woman but telling me he wasn’t, he wouldn’t come home for a couple nights and then turn up with a big grin on his face.

He would say he was no longer interested in a woman like me and is happy talking to this new girl, but would give me forehead kisses and stroke my hair and be affectionate straight after saying the opposite.

It’s driving me insane knowing this guy ISN’T good for me, I should not want to pursue something with him, but all the time feeling guilty for ruining the connection I had with him and now due to my own actions, he is happily seeing others while I feel isolated and heartbroken at home.

I don’t want to feel like this as I KNOW he isn’t a great man, but I can’t help having an attachment to him and all the good memories we shared.

No matter how many times I repeat to myself that I shouldn’t be upset over a man that was evil to me and is seeing people just as I did (albeit with different motives), my brain just can’t stop feeling so so depressed and upset about this to the point where I can’t sleep or eat knowing he is out with someone else and wants nothing to do with me anymore.

I have to deal with this whilst STILL living with him.

I am in the process of trying to move back home to my native country as I can’t live like this anymore, but every time he tells me he doesn’t want me to go and will cry so much when I leave.

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It’s a manipulative cycle I can see happening but my heart is just broken about all of this however stupid it sounds.”

Reddit users shared their thoughts.

This person offered some advice.

Another reader weighed in.

This individual didn’t hold back.

Another Reddit user spoke up.

If you enjoyed this post, check out this story about a landlord who is confused about how to return a despot since the tenant doesn’t ever want to contact them again.

And this person shared their thoughts.

This is an ugly situation…

And it’s only gonna get uglier until she gets away from this guy.

She should RUN, not walk and get out there there ASAP.

She’s stuck in a really tough spot, no doubt about it.