He Moved Into a New Apartment—Then His Neighbor’s Memory Problems Started Causing Issues
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When you move into a new apartment, it can be very exciting, but you have to expect that not everything will be perfect.
What would you do if you learned that your neighbor had Alzheimer’s and was constantly causing you problems?
That is what happened to the group of friends in this story, and while they know that it isn’t intentional, that doesn’t make it any less of an issue. Now they are trying to figure out how to handle this difficult situation.
Personally, I think they need to start by talking to his caretaker and seeing what can be done. Read through the full story below and see if you have any recommendations.
How to deal with neighbor with Alzheimer’s?
Very long rant incoming, names all changed for privacy and such.
Sounds like a great place to live.
I am recently graduated from college, and have just moved out of my parents’ house into my first apartment with two of my friends who are still in school.
We’ll call them Bill and Ted. It’s half of a duplex, between us three the rent and utilities are affordable, we’re ten minutes from the rest of our friends, the neighborhood is quiet and in a really pretty mountain area.
Neighbors can make things difficult.
Me and the guys are having fun tricking out the bachelor pad, I’m super excited about having an affordable place and so far am enjoying Adult Life.
Problem is we have a neighbor in the other half of the duplex who I’ll call Andy. He lives there with his wife and two dogs, they have someone I believe is a daughter who visits occasionally.
Those diseases are devastating.
They have random bikes and stuff in their yard, Andy has a pickup truck with flat tires that sits in the parking area, and has been doing so at least since my friends toured the place in January.
He isn’t the most outright malicious, but most definitely has a bad case of Alzheimer’s, or some combo of Dementia and Parkinson’s.
That is pretty weird.
We put up curtains because before we had them Andy liked to walk by and look in the windows. One day (before I moved in) he showed up on the porch shirtless, beckoned Bill outside, handed him an empty cigarette box and some cash, and asked him to buy him some cigarettes.
Which he did, because he felt like he couldn’t say no, but was pretty weirded out. Curtains went up the next day.
Let’s see what else he has done.
Andy has also done many other things, including the following:
- Repeatedly let his smallest dog out of the house to poop on our side of the sidewalk. She doesn’t bite, but will stand behind your car while you’re backing up to get to work or class, and no amount of honking and yelling will make her move.
- Been spotted wandering the neighborhood and sitting in random neighbors’ driveways, talking to himself.
These would all be annoying at a minimum.
- Stood at our porch railing to smoke. Our porches are entirely separated, each half of the duplex has its own little walkway and mini porch, so he has his own.
- Stood on our porch while we were rushing out the door to meet other friends and held us up saying something about needing $50 for his water bill and telling us we needed to be using the back door of our apartment instead, in between lots of mumbling I couldn’t decipher very well.
- Coming to our door and jiggling the knob to see if it’s open. We sometimes hear him pacing on our porch and muttering before leaving again. Dunno if he’s genuinely trying to break in or just confused and thinks our porch is his.
They need to talk to Andy’s wife to see if she can get him to stop.
- Repeatedly knocked on our door while we’re home, we stopped answering after the first couple times when he was asking where Bill was, where he worked, and asking if we had a cigarette. Needless to say he regrets buying him those cigarettes.
- Ted was in his car to head to class when Andy came up and knocked on his car window. He asked him for a ride somewhere, when Ted said he couldn’t give him a ride because he had to get to school, Bob grew angry and said to not “give him a hard time” because he was “letting us stay there”.
- Bill had an Amazon package come in around three in the afternoon while I was cleaning upstairs, a couple hours later I came downstairs to watch TV when I heard Andy walking around our porch, muttering. I heard a sound like a bag being picked up and dropped, more muttering, then he left. Sure enough, he’d been on our porch once more, messing with Bill’s mail.
Oh wow, that is a lot.
This has all been over the course of the not even four days since I’ve moved in.
We don’t see his wife very much at all, she only seems to leave the house when she needs to take Andy somewhere.
If I could guess, she’s probably worn out from being her husband’s caretaker and just lets him wander. I don’t believe we’re in any kind of physical danger, but we feel paranoid and like we have no privacy.
So, this isn’t a new problem.
We have to sneak around our own apartment like kids. I’ve nearly hit their dog twice, and Andy has scared the crap out of me several times standing next to my car in the dark at night.
We know the previous occupants had been a group of college girls, who according to Bill and Ted, after their one conversation with his wife, were apparently outright hostile and even straight up kicked their little yappy dog.
A Ring doorbell is an obvious first step.
I’d wondered about that, but if I’m creeped out as a grown man, I can see how a bunch of girls would be even more uncomfortable (though I still would never harm a dog unless it was literally trying to attack me).
Me and the guys’ current ideas include getting a “baby gate” that looks like a garden gate for our porch steps to try and deter Andy and his dog, possibly a ring doorbell.
Talking to his caretaker (wife) is the best option.
I don’t even know how much legal standing we’d have if it came down to it, since it’s technically not our property if we’re renters.
I feel like a jerk because he likely can’t help his behavior. This is my first time dealing with something like this, any advice would be great.
Talking to the landlord is also a good option.
Literally right as I’m finishing up typing this and consulting with my buds, Andy has come up on our porch loudly muttering, wrenching our doorknob like he’s trying to force his way in, and given up and slammed our screen door.
Ted is working on an email to the real estate agency to see if they can talk with whoever oversees our neighborhood. Hopefully something will be done in a way that doesn’t harm Andy and lets us have some peace.
There is no need to wait until something more serious happens. They need to talk to his wife, the landlord, and possibly even the non-emergency police line right away. Even calling animal control could be a good idea.
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Let’s see what the people in the comments recommend.
Here is someone who recommends going directly to social services.
This commenter says to keep the landlord informed.
Calling protective services may be necessary.
Documenting every interaction is important.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about neighbors who complain about dandelions only to find themselves on the other end of a creative response.
Talking to the daughter is a good idea.
They really need to get his caretakers involved. There isn’t another option here since he clearly can’t take care of himself.
Hopefully, his wife and daughter will be able to help to prevent these things from happening in the future.
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