He’s Always Been Happy To Share His Stuff With His Roommates, But Now That They Won’t Chip In For Shared Expenses, He’s Feeling A Lot Less Generous
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When you live long term in a house share with many of the same roommates, it’s normal that you might share other things too. Because what is the point of everyone having their own supply of cleaning products, and things like tea and coffee. It’s normal to have a communal pot to buy these things out of, as well as paying for little goods and services that the entire household will benefit from. It’s the only way to make things fair.
The guy in this story has been working on that basis for years, and has been more than happy to share many of his things with his roommates at no extra cost too. The TV, the games consoles, even the streaming services are things he has bought, but is happy to share with the others. But now that they’re refusing to pitch in to the communal pot for shared goods, he’s having second thoughts about his generosity too.
Read on to find out what happened here.
AITA for limiting what I provide to my roommates?
I (male, 33) live in a house with four roommates.
I have lived with “Red” (male, 27) for the past three years, his close friend “Blue” (female, 24) for thre months, and the other two are recent additions due to others leaving for careers/life.
I have had the occasional conflict with Red, but we have been on good ground for almost a year now.
Let’s see how life is in this shared house.
I like living with certain amenities (nice TV, consoles, streaming, appliances) and like sharing them with my
roommates.A majority of the things I purchase are free to use by any guest or roommate who enters, even borrow, depending.
We had a house meeting to re-establish the house rules (chores, annoyances, etc). An established system has been in place regarding communal food and household utility items, in that we all agree to what is communal and split costs five ways.
At that meeting, Blue stated that she wanted to be excluded from participating in the household expenses.
Read on to find out how they handled this.
I expressed that this should have been discussed before move in (multiple opportunities to do so), that she was aware of the system due to her frequent presence in the house prior to moving in (I was also present) but I did agree that if she is not going to eat any of the communal food, she would not have to pay.
The concession was that she would still fully contribute to the utility/cleaning portion and we would be more communicative of what is and isn’t a house item.
Red agreed with me on some of those points.
The meeting was summed up in the group chat, all participants gave it a heart.
But then they had to have another meeting down the line.
We had another house meeting for the newest addition.
Blue is now saying that she “didn’t know” about the house expenses and shouldn’t pay for things she doesn’t use and lists some other things she doesn’t use or support.
Red is now speaking in support, saying things like I should have put house expenses in the lease. They mentioned that prior to her move in that Blue asked Red if she didn’t have to pay house expenses if she didn’t want to.
Red said that was fine, I was not included.
And now this guy is feeling like his generosity is being taken advantage of.
I’m frustrated. I feel like I am a generous person. They were out of peanut butter, I gave them a jar I wasn’t using. Before Blue moved in, she forgot to bring a pair of sweats after the gym during winter. I gave her a pair that didn’t fit me.
I looked the other way when Red went through a bag of my clothes headed for a consignment store and wore them in front of me without asking. Even gave him an extra soap tray I had ordered for our shower after that.
Now I feel like I get nickel and dimed while they mooch off me. I stated that because of this, I don’t feel like I want to be as generous. Blue said that that was fine.
The next day I asked Red for the pairs of pants he took from me and took back the soap tray. I also signed out of the streamers that I am responsible for and moved my consoles to my desk area. Appliances and tv are still available for use and they have their Wii plugged into it, used it with their friends last night. They still have lobster, just less butter.
AITA?
Honestly, with the way that his roommates seem to be taking him for granted, he’s quite right to stop sharing with them.
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He has been more than generous the whole time they’ve been living there, and now they’re not wanting to contribute at all.
It’s really unfair.
Let’s see what the Reddit community had to say about this.
This person thought that he should stop sharing so much.
While others agreed that if Blue doesn’t pay, she doesn’t get the benefits.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a neighbor who documented times of noise spikes and turned their neighbor into a model tenant.
Meanwhile, this Redditor thought he should take things further.
It seems like this guy has gone out of his way to share, and to make living in this shared house a really pleasant experience. He hasn’t been precious about his stuff, and has generously shared the things that he had in order to make his roommates’ lives a little happier. He’s done all of this without being asked, and has been happy to do so.
But now that they’re getting picky about what they pay, it’s really understandable that he’s pulling back on some of that generosity. Because equally contributing to shared amenities should be part of the deal, not something that everyone is suddenly opting out of. And if they don’t want to pitch into cleaning supplies and communal food and stuff, then they have no right to them – as well as having no automatic right to the things this guy has been providing for free. They can’t have it both ways.
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