She Spent Years Making Special Things For Her Family, But Their Lack Of Appreciation Finally Made Her Stop
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Handmade gifts carry hours of work, making silence from recipients feel heavier than they may realize.
How long should a couple keep sharing their garden harvest when enthusiastic requests are followed by zero appreciation?
Instead of repeating the annual tradition automatically, this woman is considering giving jars only to people who acknowledge the care behind them.
The pantry politics are getting sticky.
AITA for not offering my family homemade canned goods this year?
Every year my husband I make canned goods from produce from our garden and our local market into sauces, salsas, pickles, butters, soups and everything in between.
Each year we send an email to my side of the family, with all the canned foods we’ve made and ask if anyone would like anything.
We live quite a distance apart and only see them at Christmas, so we bring it to Christmas for them.
Everyone is very enthusiastic responding to the email, but not much is said when we arrive with everything.
Read on to find out more about this woman and her family.
Now, my family are well off.
They’re not mansion on the seaside wealthy, but they all have big houses and new cars every few years.
My husband and I are not.
We moved away and happily live in a small rented farmhouse in the countryside with all our cats, a small orchard and a few gardens.
So it’s no wonder she started feeling taken for granted.
Every year we offer these canned goods and bring what is requested, but it’s getting disheartening that I never once get a text or anything like, “hey, your jam was delicious!”
We also send canned goods to my husband’s family – we mostly mail them out of state for Christmas gifts.
I get texts all the time from in-laws and step-in-laws that they enjoyed the food we sent, and it’s so rewarding for us to know that.
We also give our canned goods to our neighbors, an elderly neighbor very close to our heart always shares her appreciation via phone calls.
This year, the couple decided it was time for change.
So this year, we’re not going to offer the canned goods to my family.
I feel like I’m being selfish by not offering them, but my family that don’t seem to appreciate it as much as my in-laws and neighbors do.
AITA?
When you’re spending your time, effort, and money to do something for others, you do it out of the kindness of your own heart – not expecting anything in return.
But there is a certain point at which the lack of gratitude seems selfish, entitled even.
It’s no wonder she wants to hold off on sharing this year.
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Let’s see what folks on Reddit had to say about this.
This person agreed that they should stop giving the goods to her family.
While others explained that the family probably don’t even realise how hard they’ve worked to make the jams and pickles.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who moved her mom in after her dad passed, but doesn’t want to fill the role of a spouse.
Meanwhile, this Redditor suspected that the tasty goods might not even get eaten.
This couple isn’t obligated to keep gifting labor-intensive canned goods to relatives who request them but never express a simple thank-you.
They could skip the broad offer or scale back, saving jars for in-laws and neighbors who clearly enjoy them without creating a Christmas confrontation.
Her family wants artisanal pantry service with complimentary gratitude.
Gratitude hmmmmm that’s mysteriously out of stock.
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