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Trying to get sober sounds like one of the hardest things you can do, even if friends and family support you. I know mine would!

But what if they don’t? See why this person is in conflict about not reciprocating a friend’s participation.

AITA for not going to my friend’s party?

So, my good friend’s birthday party is tomorrow and she’s having it at a bar. I’m currently on a journey to stop drinking and being around alcohol is a huge trigger for me.

Last month was my girlfriend’s birthday, and we all went out to a bar.

But all was not merry. I can’t imagine going to this many parties again. I’m so old.

Then, a couple of weeks later, we did the same thing for my sister’s birthday. She came out for both birthdays.

So, when I told her I didn’t want to go tomorrow because I’m trying to stay sober, she got absolutely mad at me.

I’d be uncomfortable knowing someone at my birthday didn’t want to be there. Plus, I would understand.

She said, “Well, I came out for their birthdays, so it will hurt my feelings if you don’t come out for mine”

Basically, I’m just here to ask if I’m valid in not going or if it makes me a bad person.

Here is what people are talking about.

I wondered this, too. Maybe the number of drink-related events is the problem. I don’t think I’ve ever encouraged anyone to drink.

You have to put your health first, and sometimes that means making hard decisions. I know that firsthand, although not with addiction, fortunately.

Totally! That’s a tough age to get sober. Good for her. I do remember the partying dying down after university.

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When people show themselves, believe them! I wish I’d canceled so many friends I had when I was younger.

I love to see peer support here! It has to be a priority to work.

A real friend would understand.

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Author

Ashley Ashbee

Ashley Ashbee | Contributing Writer, Workplace & Culture

Ashley Ashbee is a contributing writer for TwistedSifter specializing in workplace dynamics, employee advocacy, and professional culture. Drawing on her real-world experience as a software consultant, she brings a unique, insider perspective to navigating office conflicts, toxic management, and trending professional dilemmas.

Holding a degree in Professional Writing from York University, Ashley combines her formal editorial training with her corporate background to deliver highly engaging, empathetic narratives. She excels at breaking down complex workplace dramas and translating them into stories that truly empower and validate modern workers.

Based in St. Catharines, Ontario, Ashley balances her time between the tech and publishing worlds with her love for the outdoors. When she isn’t consulting or writing, she can usually be found exploring local walking trails or experimenting with new recipes in the kitchen.

Connect with Ashley on LinkedIn and Twitter/X.