It’s no secret these days that more and more people are deciding to not have children. Which means there are a lot of friend groups where people are having to navigate their pals deciding to have kids – and all of the responsibility that goes along with that – while others in the group stay blissfully unencumbered.

This woman is one of the child-free folks. She planned an adults-only getaway and invited all of her adult friends, two of whom have children. Both parents had secured childcare in order to attend, but at the last minute, one of the arrangements fell through.

So this coming weekend a group of friends and I are going to go stay at my family cabin. We’re all in our late 20s/early 30s.

Two friends have kids “Chad” and “Rebecca”. Not together though. Chad wasn’t a big deal because it’s not his weekend they’re with their mom. Rebecca said her sister would watch her son.

Instead of canceling, the woman stated that she could just bring her son along.

Rebecca called me this morning and said something came up and her sister can’t do it. I said “that sucks, do you have a backup sitter?”

She said no, she figured she’d just bring him along.

OP told her that wasn’t going to work, since they would be taking part in adult activities, etc, and no one else wanted to change their plans.

said “uh, this isn’t really a kid friendly weekend. We’re going to be drinking and stuff”.

She said “well, why do you HAVE to drink. It can just be a fun getaway and that way he can come”.

I said “no, Chads not bringing his kids along.”

She said “well then he should bring them. They can all hangout together “.

I said “no. This isn’t a kid trip. Most of us don’t have kids and I don’t want kids there.”

The friend acted like changing the trip a bit to suit a child was no big deal and OP was being a jerk for trying to exclude her “because she’s a parent.”

She said “so what now I can’t come?”

I said ” if you find a sitter you’re welcome to come” She said “that’s really great. Being uninvited because I’m a parent. One day everyone else will have kids too. Then what will you do?”

I said “hangout alone I guess?”

She hung up on me.

OP disclosed that the friend always expects everyone else to adapt to her child instead of the other way around, which is why she knew better than to ok the kiddo coming along.

My problem isn’t even the kid. It’s that Rebecca always changes EVERYTHING for her son. So I know it’d become a dry (no alcohol) trip, and everything would get changed around for him. Shorter hikes, less time fishing, Saturday were going to the bar to watch college football and we wouldn’t be able to do that with him there.

We went to a festival this summer, she brought her son and everything was what he wanted to do. When we suggested splitting up and meeting later, so some of us could watch some bands and whatever she got all pissed.

Some people in their groupthink OP was being too rigid about the whole thing, but others would also like to enjoy their time sans children.

Well another friend called me an hour later and asked if I really uninvited Rebecca. I explained my side and she said “that wasn’t nice, things happen and friends compromise”. I said “yea to a point but not change the whole trip.”

She said she just feels bad because Rebecca will be stuck here while were all having fun. That I should be a good friend and let her come, not leave her out because stuff came up”.

I said “no one is forcing you to come, you can stay and hangout with her if you want”. She told me to stop being an a$$.

AITA for uninviting someone because they’re sitter fell through

What does Reddit think about her decision? Let’s find out!

The top comment suggests OP go and have fun and try not to worry about people who aren’t being very good friends.

This fellow parent is on OP’s side, too.

Everyone needs time away, parents included.

And this parent agrees that the friend is just being selfish.

The bottom line is that having responsibilities sometimes means you miss out.

This stinks for everyone involved, but the whole group should not have to change their plans to suit a child who was not even invited.

Hopefully next time she’ll be able to find a more reliable sitter!