Everyone loves a good round of “would you rather’ now and again. It’s always nice to really put your brain to work, whether or not the question is something that could ever actually come to pass or not.

These people probably wish they could have opted out, though, because they faced some queries that no one ever wants to answer, likely to happen or not.

You can’t go wrong.

Not 100% the same, but I’m correcting engineering exams now. One question was To improve accuracy, would you improve variable A or Variable B. Several students answered: Yes.

Just for fun.

Would you rather have access to a room containing the next 50 years of New York Times editions or be able to watch six two-hour documentaries about other technologically advanced civilizations from different parts of the universe?

Try it without the financial angle, just in terms of which choice would be more interesting.

First option. If I have access to the room forever, I’ve basically just got infinite money. Even if I only had an hour in there I could make a lot of money by checking what companies are huge in 50 years but non existent/ small now, or just betting on sports. The second option is pretty cool but I’m not sure how I could translate that information into anything useful to anybody.

“Hey NASA this galaxy a million lightyears away has a super intelligent race of potatoes”

“That’s nice, voyager 1 is only 0.002 lightyears away so we’ll just jot that down for future reference”

Read with caution.

Would you rather be burned to death or drowned?

I can speak to the drowning thing. I’ve almost drowned multiple times in my life then ironically decided to spend my high school years as a lifeguard. Go figure. Anyways, drowning happens in phases

The first is just being bad at staying afloat and not realizing it. Your brain realizes the danger, but you can still breathe, so you consciously try and stay afloat and fight. It’s scary, but it’s not existential scary, because your brain literally can’t jump to that conclusion just yet.

The second phase triggers when you fail something necessary. You might take a breath of water, or your attempt to hit the surface and not make it, or something similar, but either way two things happen here. 1) conscious panic sets in. You can still think, but it’s fractured, desperate. This is terrifying because it was usually here that the thought ‘oh shit – I could fucking die’ happened. 2) there is a physical response. Water enters your lungs. CO2 builds. You begin to gasp unconsciously for more air, but often end up only sucking in more water.

Stage three – the last remnants of sanity. Gonna be honest – this phase is brief but it sucks. It’s when conscious, sane thoughts begin to slowly exit the picture. Sucking in water over and over, not getting oxygen, coupled with the conscious realization of your surroundings and circumstances and just how utterly fucked you are… This is the worst part, for me at least. You feel everything. When people say “your lungs are burning” they mean it. It’s weird because you can feel your lungs filling up with water in ways that you wouldn’t expect. You almost just feel more full. Like you had a big meal. But that meal was lava.

Stage four is where you lose conscious thought. It’s what lifeguards call an “active drowning victim.” It’s the shell of a body in full panic mode doing everything to survive. I was a passenger in a body. There was only terror. I didn’t control my limbs, my head, my breathing, I stopped having rational thoughts… As a sidenote a person in this stage will straight up drag their closest loved ones down with them. Kids, spouse, anyone. That’s not your dad, that’s a body trying to survive and it will pull you down with it if it thinks it will help.

Finally, stage five is light out. Brain loses 02, CO2 builds up, vision fades, body loses the ability to move. Unconsciousness. Some people say this is peaceful but not f**king me I’ll tell you. My terrified ass went terrified all the way through the tunnel every time. This is what lifeguards call a passive drowning victim. They are hard to see, and time is ticking. Obviously this is where my personal account gets irrelevant lol.

Humans are weird and diverse and my experience may differ from others and even some of what was outlined in the lifeguard space, but anyways – teach your kids to swim people

I’ll pass on both.

Would you rather be slightly thirsty no matter how much you drink or slightly tired no matter how much you sleep?

Only one has cheese.

Would you rather have pot roast or Philly cheeses for dinner?

Currently sitting on this one. I can’t decide for the life of me.

Lasting trauma.

Would you rather have denim skin, or live in a bag of milk?

This was asked at a party in college and I still think about it 10 years later.

Edit to address some very fair questions: You can’t leave, it’s a Bubble Boy scenario, not a house. You’re the only one living in the bag of milk, no one can enter. The milk is cleaned/changed out when it needs to be.

There is no loophole where you drink the milk and you no longer live in a bag of milk, sorry.

Why are you asking?

Would you rather eat a spoonful of ice cream that tastes like poop or a cappuccino spoon of poop that tastes like ice cream?

See, if ice cream is ice cream, then I’d have to eat that. If poop retains its harmful bacteria and stuff but tastes like ice cream, then ice cream just so I don’t get those harmful bacteria in me.

Also idk the ice cream flavor, and does the ice cream smell like poop?

I think the second.

Would you rather have super speed but only backwards or… be able to teleport but it’s completely random and you have no say in where you go

super speed. i dont wanna end up in space

Cool at first.

Would you rather be completely immortal or die right now? Immortality seems cool at first glance, but knowing you will eventually experience the heat death of the universe for trillions of years is terrifying.

Functionally immortal.

Would you rather know how you are going to die or when you are going to die?

When, then I’m functionally immortal until that date. I can do whatever I want and know I won’t die.

Of course I can still be paralyzed or put in a coma, but I can’t die.

No one likes this one.

“Would you rather spend thousands of dollars and put your old dog through major surgery to maybe keep her alive a little longer or accept that this is going to kill her and that 14 years was a good long life?” – Our vet yesterday

Gotta tell ya, no other WYR question has made me literally sob.

How to pick?!

Fluent in all languages or master of every instrument?

The language one is more useful, however as a musician, I can’t pass up the opportunity to master all instruments. I feel like that one would be way more fun, and also more profitable.

The hands please.

Would you rather have 4 hands or 4 feet

Why are people so bent on torture?

The one we always had was would you rather…

Have a thousand cuts all over your body and jump in a bath on lemon juice

Or have a tooth pick under your big toe nail and kick a wall

I’d choose the Lemons

Talk about an obvious answer.

Would you rather be the top student in the best program of your choice in the world or the worst student at Hogwarts

I’m honestly sorry I had to read some of these secondhand.

I am going to try to forget them as soon as possible without answering in my head.