A word to the wise: when it’s someone else’s party or event, it’s best to just fade into the background and let them have the spotlight for the day.

That’s common sense, right?

Well, maybe not…

Because this woman asked the fine folks on Reddit’s “Am I the A**hole?” page if she was a jerk for stealing her sister’s thunder at her engagement party.

Check out what she had to say…

AITA for stealing my sister’s thunder on her engagement party?

“My (23F) sister (25F) recently got engaged to her fiancé (26M) after they’d been dating for a year. Their engagement party was basically a dinner with friends and close relatives, and my sister went all out on the food.

To her marriage is a huge deal, and she’s had her whole wedding and married life planned out since we were kids. I’ve never felt the same excitement for weddings and kids and such things, even though i do want it at some point, and since I’m a lesbian in an homophobic family, i long ago accepted that a big fancy wedding with my father walking me down the aisle isn’t part of the plan.

This doesn’t sadden me much, but my sister (who’s the only one in my family who know about my s**uality) has been convinced that I’m jealous of her since she started dating her fiancé.

The dinner started out great, but after the main course, my family and relatives started asking about my dating life. It was pretty harmless questions at first, such as “when are you getting a boyfriend?” and “why aren’t you dating? I saw that boy hitting on you just yesterday!” It annoyed me, but my sister seemed even more annoyed. After dessert, when the alcohol started kicking in, the questions got a little out of hand.

My mom said “I can’t believe your sister got engaged first, you’ve always been more social!” and my grandma commented on that I was “the more attractive sister”. My sister obviously got hurt by this, and I caught her crying in the bathroom at one point. I tried to talk to her, but all she said was “Happy? You’ve made my engagement allt about you.” and then avoided me for the rest of the party.

So this is the part where i might have been the bad guy. After my aunt asked when I would get a boyfriend for the millionth time, and I’d had my millionth glass of wine, I told her that I’d never get a boyfriend, but when I got a girlfriend she’d be the first to know. I then stormed out of the apartment, accidentally knocking a glass over, and took a cab home.

My phone immediately started blowing up, but i turned notifications off and went straight to bed. One of me and my sisters mutual friend, who was on the party, told me the next day that a wild discussion about what I said to my aunt was held and then the party cut short, my sister locked herself in her room crying and everyone went home.

I have now been blocked my most of my family and relatives, my sister sent me a nasty next about how me coming out on her part stole her thunder, and my mother no longer considers me family.

I’m not gonna try to make up excuses for my behavior, because I definitely could have been a more supporting sister, but I just wanted to know, AITA?”

Here’s what people said on Reddit.

This person thinks everyone in this story sucks and they explained why in detail

Another Reddit user said she’s NTA at all.

And this reader also said she’s NTA and that her family is at fault.