Reconnecting with an absent dad after a decade can be painful, especially when he expects things to pick up where they left off.

He demanded respect, but he hadn’t exactly put in the work to deserve it.

So their child made it clear that if he wanted respect, it wasn’t going to come easy – not after all these years.

Read on for the full story.

AITA for telling my bio-father that he doesn’t deserve to be called “dad”?

I recently talked to my biological father for the first time in over 10 years.

The last time I saw him was my seventh birthday party, and the entire time he complained to my mother that I wasn’t calling him Dad.

She went off on him, saying that he isn’t, so no, I don’t have to call him that.

The family has a pretty rough history.

For clarification, when I was about a year old, he stole my mother’s money (she was the only one working while also being nineteen) right before he was supposed to fly out to move in with us.

She cancelled his plane ticket, and after that, it was inconsistent.

The child always felt like they weren’t a priority in his eyes.

Whenever he would call to talk to me, it always ended with him talking to my mother and trying to get back together with her.

I realised rather early on that he didn’t give one care about me.

So back to the present.

But when they finally do talk, the child wasn’t just going to welcome him with open arms.

I decided to try talking to him, and he started getting mad that I was calling him by his first name.

(Everyone calls him by his middle name, even my mother. I did it to annoy him purposefully because I’m spiteful).

So finally, they let him have it.

So I “calmly” explained to him that he cannot just not exist in my life and then expect me to cater to his every childish whim, and that he needs to grow up.

My mother laughed when I told her what I said, but I feel guilty after the fact.

AITA?

It may have felt good to stick up to him in the moment, but the situation still doesn’t feel resolved.

What did Reddit think?

This commenter thinks the dad can’t just shortcut his way into their child’s life – especially not after he abandoned them.

This redditor agrees the dad hasn’t even come close to putting in the work.

This redditor has some wise words of advice that may be tough to hear.

This commenter doesn’t sugarcoat it.

After reconnecting after a decade, it’s clear he’s still not the man he needs to be to meet his child’s needs.

If he wants to be a dad, he needs to act like one.

If you liked this post, check out this story about an employee who got revenge on a co-worker who kept grading their work suspiciously low.