A family vacation should be enjoyable for the whole family, and if you get to take a trip to Hawaii with your extended family, that is a big blessing.

What would you do if your daughter wasn’t interested in the same activities as the rest of the group and mostly wanted to spend her time reading?

That is what this mom and dad experienced, and they are trying to find the right balance of activities for her.

Check out the details.

AITAH For Ignoring the Wishes of My MIL and Letting My Daughter Read on Family Vacation?

My husband Joe is one of three boys.

His parents have a vacation home in Hawaii and every year they invite the kids, in-laws, and grandkids for a week long family vacation.

Some context is that Joe and his brothers were all competitive athletes and loved playing sports and games on family vacations.

My in-laws encourage this with the grandkids (there are currently 7) and are always trying to get them to play sand soccer or football on the beach.

My son and younger daughter love the games and also being in the water, but my middle daughter Julia is different.

Julia is smart and creative, but she’s also a sensitive and introverted little girl.

She has friends at school, but isn’t as eager to play with her male cousins because they don’t have as much in common with her.

Julia and her friends at school love playing pretend (they’ve created an entire imaginary world) and putting on shows (we now have her in theatre and ballet).

My four nephews and other two kids aren’t interested in these activities and enjoy running around and playing sports all day like Joe and his brothers did when they were kids.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Julia, for whatever reason, just seems to have a different personality than the other kids in the family.

My daughter is also a huge bookworm and is completely hooked on the Goosebumps series.

When I say hooked, I mean that she spends almost all of her free time reading these books and begs me to take her to the bookstore to buy more frequently.

She loves telling me about the books she’s reading and has even started writing her own Goosebumps stories before bed.

I personally am happy that my daughter loves to read and is so creative, and I try to encourage her to pursue these interests.

She’s definitely a bit “quirky” compared to my other two, but she’s being herself and pursuing her own interests, which I love.

We got to the island on Thursday night and spent all day Friday and Saturday at the beach and are going to the pool today.

Julia plays with her cousins at the house and talks to them at meals, but during the day, she just wants to sit next to me and read her books.

She is willing to do other activities, so that is good.

I have encouraged her to swim for a little bit since we’re in Hawaii, and she goes in the water for a few minutes, but then she asks if she can get back to her book.

She’s played a few games with her cousins and siblings when I coax her, but again, she honestly just wants to be reading Goosebumps.

Overall, when we’re at the beach, I’d say she spends 1/5 of the time playing and 4/5ths of the time reading.

She would probably spend the whole time reading if I didn’t encourage her to try other things for a little bit.

My husband doesn’t see an issue with Julia spending the days reading.

He says we’re on vacation and it’s about her having fun.

Her vacation should be enjoyable too.

He says if she wants to read on the beach all day, it’s her decision, and she’s at least getting some sun, having a blast, and enriching her mind.

I generally agree, although I do wish she’d swim a bit more since were in Hawaii and also spend more time with the other kids.

This morning before breakfast, my MIL pulled my husband and I to the side and asked if we were going to let Julia bring her book to the pool today.

My husband said yes and my MIL asked us to reconsider.

She said the trip is about family and Julia creating memories with her siblings and cousins.

I told my MIL that Julia is very introverted and that she bonds with the other kids at the house, during meals, and for a bit at the beach, but she doesn’t need to be running around with them 24/7 to create happy memories.

My MIL then accused us of spoiling Julia, encouraging her to be anti-social, and teaching her that her individual desires are more important than being part of the group.

Kids should be encouraged to talk about their interests.

My MIL also says her obsession with Goosebumps is unhealthy, and that Julia isn’t interested in talking about anything that isn’t related to fictional stories and characters.

She does talk about Goosebumps a lot, but my MIL is exaggerating a bit.

This set off my husband, and he said that Julia has friends at school but has different interests than her cousins and siblings.

He said he wants her to enjoy her vacation and if that means her reading all day, then he supports it as long as it’s not impacting the rest of the group.

The convo ended with me telling my MIL that Julia can bring her books to the pool and that I’m not going to force her to spend her trip doing things she’s not interested in.

They don’t control the whole vacation just because it is their house.

My MIL and FIL have spent the entire breakfast scowling at me and my husband.

At one point Julia started telling my MIL about her favorite Goosebumps book and my MIL said she isn’t interested in hearing anything else about Goosebumps.

She also said that Julia should talk about things that interest other people as well, and Julia started asking her Grandma about the books she liked and tennis.

Glad he is standing up to her.

My husband told his mom not to parent his child in front of everyone, and it was very awkward.

We’re about to head to the pool and I’m letting Julia bring her books, but I’m not sure if I’m doing the right thing?

I’m trying to find the balance between letting her enjoy the trip and also being part of the group?

Any advice would be appreciated.

AITA?

It sounds to me like mom and dad have a great balance letting their daughter read, but also encouraging other activities.

Let’s see if the people in the comments have any advice for them.

Yes! The world caters to the extroverts.

These parents need strong boundaries.

This person says to let the daughter be herself.

They shouldn’t be second-guessing their decisions.

Yes, grandma could cause real harm.

Just let this little girl be herself and enjoy her vacation.

Some people just want to read!

If you liked this post, you might want to read this story about a teacher who taught the school’s administration a lesson after they made a sick kid take a final exam.