Big life changes require thoughtful planning.

If you were dating someone and wanted to move in together, you’d need to do some careful planning if you both have kids! Would you blend the families before the kids have ever even met, or would you give them a chance to get to know each other first?

This man is in a long-distance relationship with a woman who has three kids of her own. She thinks they should move in together, but he thinks there’s a better option.

Check out the full story below.

AITA for suggesting my long distance gf move into her own place with her kids first and then we work together to find a house?

I (33M) and my girlfriend (39F) are in a long-distance relationship.

The goal was always for her to move here.

This was her initial decision. This was when I eventually had to leave the previous state in the fall of 2024.

This man tried to talk to his girlfriend about the big move she is going to make.

Fast forward to today, I attempted to talk about preparing for the move.

She has only given the input of, “We will move straight into a house when we get there.”

That is the extent of thought she has put into the plan because “she wants me to take charge.”

I did some research and planning, keeping in mind that I have a child and she has 3 children, it would take roughly 3 years to plan and afford to move.

He suggested she move sooner and just rent a place.

My second option I gave was for her to move sooner and just rent a place.

Mind you, the kids have never met.

I’ve only met one of her kids.

I figured this option would allow us to bond more naturally instead of all the shell shock of a new place and the forced Brady Bunch scenario.

But she thinks this isn’t an ideal setup.

She basically thinks that my decision isn’t cost effective and that I am just being doubtful about our relationship. She feels like the bonding can be done over a few family trips over the next year.

Which, to me, sounds completely insane.

You can’t just build a bond in a few long weekends over three years. So, am I the jerk?

Let’s read the reactions of other people on Reddit to this story.

This user shares their personal thoughts.

Here’s an honest opinion from this person.

This person thinks it’s a red flag what she’s trying to do.

It’s unfair to the kids, says this person.

Finally, short and sweet.

Creating an ideal future requires time, careful planning, and smart decision-making.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.