Maintaining a relationship with your family after moving away is hard for a variety of reasons, but it’s worth the effort.

Now, what happens when only one side of the family is making an effort?

This is what’s happening to a woman who shares how she finally decided to stop traveling to visit her parents after realizing they see it as her obligation, even though she works 50+ hours per week.

Let’s read the whole story and see what people are saying.

AITA: family visit stress

Am I (31F) wrong for not wanting to visit my family for the holidays (or in general, really)?

Up until two years ago, my parents lived about 1.5 hours away.

They all but refused to visit us. If we wanted to see them, we had to drive to their house or meet them halfway.

I didn’t mind, but, because of traffic, the drive could often take an extra thirty minutes one way.

In roughly eight years, they came to our house maybe ten times, and that was only if I begged.

I love my parents, but driving three hours minimum to see them for a handful of hours got really old. I tried to talk to my mom about it, but that didn’t go anywhere.

Her parents basically think it’s about the principle.

She said they are busy with work and have a lot of things going on. Meanwhile, I also work a full-time job, about 50 hours a week.

She said it was different because I’m younger and the child so I should make the effort to visit. I was hurt, but didn’t want to push the issue.

Gradually, I pulled back and visited less often and chose the option to meet halfway more than before.

A couple of months after that first conversation, she informed me that she spoke with several friends and “none of them drives to visit their kids.”

I told her that it’s different: everyone she mentioned lives within 30 minutes of their kids.

She said there’s no difference and kids should visit their parents.

Things changed after this.

After that, I pretty much shut down. For 2-3 years, I only visited for holidays, birthdays, etc.

I pushed for meeting halfway just for dinner when I could, even that became a headache because they always showed up late.

Then, they moved seven hours away.

It’s been almost two years, and we are still expected to visit them, not the other way around.

They did drive down for a three-day weekend last year, but it was to meet up with their friends from the area. We only saw them for dinner one night.

The excuses are always the same: busy, work, money, etc.

The most frustrating part is they have more than enough time and money to go wherever they want.

She also noticed where their priorities are.

Since they moved, they’ve gone on a cruise, went to Colorado for a week, New York for a week, Vegas, the beach, New Orleans, and more.

The biggest frustration is that my older brother moved two hours from them and they go visit every other month.

I truly don’t understand how that is difference between that and when they lived 1.5 hours from me. Neither of us has kids.

Fast forward to today.

My parents told me they are coming back in town to clear out a storage unit, meet with some friends, and “cross things off their list.”

After saying that, my dad said, “Oh, and we can get with you for dinner or something if you want.”

I’ve said for months now that I’m considering not driving up for Christmas because they haven’t made an effort to visit and spend time together.

AITA?

It’s sad to say, but it sounds like her parents are taking her for granted.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this.

Exactly.

Yup.

Sound advice.

It’s simple.

More food for thought.

The truth is, she can’t just go visit them every time with her schedule.

They will understand that when she stops making all the effort.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.