This woman has spent the past two months stretched thin at her nightclub job, juggling extra shifts, event décor, and holiday chaos.

After working nearly nonstop through Christmas and New Year’s, she deliberately scheduled two consecutive days off to recover. Then, just hours before a shift, a close coworker and friend asked her to cover due to a sudden family scare.

What should have been rest quickly turned into guilt.

AITA for not picking up a shift for my friend?

I (31F) have worked w B (28F) at a popular nightclub for about 5 years now. We became great friends the first year we worked together and have been since.

I also involuntarily became responsible for club event decor after our last party in November so for the Christmas & NYE parties it largely fell on me to order & put up decor.

I mainly work in a different position now than B & one of the other girls in my position was out of town for most of December so instead of my usual 3-4 shifts a week I was doing 5-6 for most of the month.

Oof.

I specifically requested off January 1-2 so I could finally have some time to myself after the holiday craze since I haven’t had 2 nights off in a row in almost 2 months (if you don’t work in nightlife this is crucial so you’re not wasting the one day sleeping in late and catching up on chores, responsibilities, etc).

Friday the 2nd B texts me 3 hours before her shift saying her dad is being rushed to the hospital and asks me to cover her.

I’ve already put in almost 35 hours at the club opening Mon-Wed nights on top of being there all day NYE to decorate for the party. I am sooo drained at this point from being at the club lately, my plan was to rot for these 2 days and not respond to any texts.

Fair.

I tried to politely decline by saying I couldn’t bc it would put me in OT (my club doesn’t allow OT).

She says she’ll get approval w management so then I say I’m also not feeling well and after more back and forth I finally just said that I was really sorry about the situation w her dad but I truly did not have the energy or the mental capacity to be there since I had to work a 10 hour shift the next night as well.

Almost every other time she’s asked me for a swap or to cover her bc she’s not feeling well or cramping I do, even when I am absolutely drained I’ve pushed thru bc she’s my friend and I wanna help her out, but I also feel like I never get the same reciprocation whenever I need a cover or swap from her.

That’s just too much.

Anyways she responds saying that she’s trying to understand but she’s really disappointed in me.

I apologized again and explained to her how much time & energy I’ve put into that place lately and wished her dad well.

She got her shift covered by someone else that night and her dad is okay, it was a false alarm and he’s out of the hospital now but she hasn’t spoken to me since.

Thank goodness.

I feel bad that the timing just really inconveniently coincided w an unfortunate situation but I don’t think I should feel bad for feeling mentally and physically drained from being overworked.

She’s been there way longer than me so ik she understands that. I also feel like she’s expecting more from me as a coworker bc we’re friends which idt is really fair to me but maybe I just need a different perspective.

So AITA for not working for her that night?

Although the situation resolved and the emergency turned out to be a false alarm, the friendship now feels strained.

She’s left wondering whether protecting her own limits made her unsupportive, or whether saying yes yet again would’ve crossed a line she couldn’t afford to ignore.

This person says no one is the jerk.

This person says NTA, but the response could’ve been better.

This person agrees with NTA, and she should just get over it.

Being a good friend doesn’t mean setting yourself on fire every time someone else needs warmth.

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