Leading or hosting a group isn’t as easy as you think it is! Sometimes you’ve got to make nasty decisions.

Check out how this girl had to kick another group member out for being weird.

AITA for kicking a disabled girl out of my D&D party?

I (27f) recently made a group for D&D with people I don’t know well quite yet. I mostly just collected phone numbers at a church party of anyone who was interested and we ended up with a party of 7 players.

I was worried about the number of people since I’m rather inexperienced as a DM but the first couple sessions were actually really great!

This is where it gets bad…

In comes Anne (25f).

She messaged me a couple weeks after I first sent out invites for a discord server saying her link no longer worked. I didn’t know her well, but I did have a brief conversation with her when I was first recruiting people.

She had told me she was in a car wreck when she was young and suffered brain damage and that she had a seizure disorder. She speaks slowly and tends to interrupt conversation regularly but otherwise seemed nice.

I told Anne I was at my limit with 7 players but I could let her into the Discord server, but I couldn’t let her join the party yet because I didn’t know if I could handle more players. She said she understood and I thought that was that.

UH OH…

Anne joins the Discord server.

The next time I put out a message to plan for a session, she started sending weird messages like- “I’m so sorry I’m in the way I hope you guys have fun.” And “I don’t want to be a burden, I’ll shut up.”

I had to tell her multiple times to stop. I don’t know how the players felt about it but it made me uncomfortable and I had no idea how to handle it.

I tried to ask a few players how they felt about it during the session.

I didn’t want to sound like a weirdo so I didn’t voice some of my bigger concerns like her behavior on the discord server and her tendency to not let others talk. Nobody said anything against her joining so I relented.

Anne joins the group.

You wouldn’t expect what’s about to come…

I messaged her the next day and we started putting a character together for her.

I had gotten some premade character for other players since they’ve never played before and this first dungeon we’re doing is just to teach the mechanics of D&D, so I helped make her character. No big deal.

Except, she really wanted to play a high elf wild magic sorcerer that was very obviously based on her, including a weirdly specific detail of the elf sorcerer having a dent in her head.

I tried to warn Anne that sorcerers are a bit harder to play and might not be suitable for a beginner who may need help but she completely ignored my warning, saying she had played before and she could handle it.

That’s a bit fishy…

I had no reason to believe she couldn’t handle it. Sure, I had to do everything to put her character together but maybe that’s because of her parents weirdly strict internet access on her devices.

She said she couldn’t access a pdf I linked her to… But I got her character sheet together and tried to make things as streamlined as possible, even making cards for her spells because I was a bit worried.

I forgot to mention a few additional concerns that became relevant the day of the first session. She had told me early on that she couldn’t drive.

No big deal. She could get a ride. But then she told me she had to be in bed by 10:00 pm? Which meant she would leave by 9:00 pm and we start at 8:00 pm.

Sure. Fine. Her dad can come drive her instead of making another player drive her home after just one hour.

That’s INSANE!

Except, her dad didn’t drive her.

She got one of the girls in the group to drive her. Kind Hearted Girl (Sarah) seemed visibly uncomfortable when she arrived with Anne but I didn’t have a whole lot of time to think about it.

And then I noticed that Anne was all over one of the guys (Chad) in the group who seemed uncomfortable but resigned to his fate.

Chad would sit on one side of the room and she would follow. She even, at one point, loudly repeated three separate times that she had a dream of Chad proposing to her.

I guess they had known each other since middle school and he hasn’t told her he has no interest.

Chad end up helping her with her character sheet the entire session, which wasn’t ideal but it worked.

I was mostly able to ignore her constant interrupting and the fact that she had told the same story multiple times any time nobody else was actively talking. It really could have gone worse.

Nobody was expecting that!

Thankfully, her parents seemed to have given her an extension on her bedtime because she was apparently fine being out after 11pm as long as she called them.

Chad somehow end up giving her a ride home. She refused a ride from Sarah, who drove her there, because she just didn’t feel comfortable in a car with a stranger.

Anne came to the next session in a costume because its close to Halloween and she was having a great time. Except she was now making Chad take off her jewelry (she had a crown and some bracers).

She was clearly interested in Chad and her behavior towards him was weird to say the least. Anne started refusing help from anyone but Chad and gameplay had slowed down significantly.

I don’t know if I was projecting but it seemed like several other players were getting uncomfortable with her constant chatter.

They were annoyed by her presence!

She also started insisting that nobody curse (focusing around two specific players that I have since learned she didn’t like) around her and would make loud remarks about how gross it was when I described an enemy death.

She also apparently started writing a book about our group and made sure to tell Chad multiple times.

She once again insisted on Chad driving her.

One of the other players, Goff had mentioned he had a space themed adventure module and for some reason that stuck with Anne.

She messaged me about trying to run her own campaign and I was already annoyed with her but didn’t want to be rude. She sent me some AI generated outline for what a campaign could be based on Peter Pan.

They were trying to not give her so much control…

Anne argued with me when I expressed concern about her ability to run a campaign let alone make one on her own.

By this point I was feeling very done with her and told her she couldn’t run a campaign if she still couldn’t figure out where her HP was on her character sheet.

This was when she decided to suddenly start listening to me about my earlier concerns with her character. I told her to find access to a players manual and make a fighter or a bard.

She said she would but she did not.

In the meantime I reached out to Chad and Sarah to see how they felt about Anne. Chad was more or less used to her but he was annoyed and admitted he wanted her gone.

This is where things started crippling…

Sarah took a bit more prompting to get an honest answer from and she mostly said she didn’t want to drive Anne again. Another player admitted that they liked the group significantly less after she joined but didn’t want to seem mean.

So. I took action.

Here’s where I’m not totally sure if what I did was the right thing.

I asked Anne if she was capable of playing D&D without help. She said she didn’t know and I told her I didn’t think our group could accommodate her needs.

That sounds rough!

She was clearly upset, apologizing for being a burden and saying “I just feel like I’m a burden to literally everybody in my life. The main reason I joined the group, was to find a sense of belonging. But, I honestly feel like I’m being kicked out of the group. I’m used to it though.”

After a bit more conversation, I realized I had to say directly that I didn’t want her to come anymore.

She kept trying to apologize in weird ways. I told her its fine to feel upset, but what she was doing felt emotionally manipulative and she needed to stop.

OUCH! That’s a bit heartbreaking!

But how else could she have dealt with this situation?

Let’s find out what folks on Reddit think about this one.

This user knows when people are lying about change!

This user knows this girl has more issues than just her disability.

This user has autism and they share how disabilities work…

This user knows this girl was kinder than that!

This user knows this girl isn’t at fault for kicking her out.

Somebody’s being a bit too harsh on themselves…

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.