After hearing that her boyfriend’s 17-year-old sister wants to pursue a demanding pre-vet track and eventually attend veterinary school, she had concerns.

The teen works incredibly hard and excels in athletics, even earning college scholarships through track, but academically she struggles despite support due to her disability.

When the training pressure already landed her in the ER after a 10-mile run, it made the plan feel even more worrying.

Read on for the story.

AITA for raising concerns in private to my bf about if his sister’s career plans are sustainable and realistic given her disability?

My bf of 5 years has a sister who is 17 currently. She has a disability and is currently in assisted learning for support. She works very hard in school but typically earns Cs in core classes even with support. She does do better in hands on trades type elective classes.

She is a talented track athlete as well and is top in the state. Because of that she has been given scholarships to universities. She sees this as her only path to college due to her academic challenges.

She has started training so hard out of fear of losing her scholarships. She ran 10 miles one day and ended up in the ER due to internal bleeding. Thankfully she was ok.

Wow!

She wants to use her scholarships and take on a pre vet track. She then wants to go to vet school after her bachelors and work as a vet.

When my boyfriend told me this I asked him if she understood the academic requirements and skills of the field/program (a biology based undergraduate degree and a selective 4 year vet school after that).

I primarily said to him that I felt the path likely would set her up for burnout and disappointment.

Truth.

I said she is so valuable and strong but I worry this isn’t the correct direction for her given her skill set. Vet school is extremely demanding and hard to get in for rigorous students and that biology based undergrad degrees are also very demanding and difficult.

I said I was concerned that forcing this path on herself could lead her to harm herself and harm her self esteem. I framed it as a skill mismatch.

I suggested other animal focused paths such as her going into being a vet tech which is a 2 year tech school path. I thought it would be a good path because it has more hands on time with the animals.

Makes sense.

I think it could be more sustainable way she could have a career where she focuses on helping animals. It would reduce the pressure on her that is causing her harm currently.

My boyfriend got very upset when I said this. He accused me of saying that his sister was stupid and that I saw her as lesser than myself and others. He said I was crushing her dreams.

I tried explaining that I was worried about long term health emotional as well as physical. And that I never wanted to put her down on insult her.

Never.

He hung the phone up on me after I said that and 10 minutes later called me back telling me to drop the topic, which I did.

I never said any of this to his sisters face and understand it’s not my place.

I was wondering if I was out of line for bringing up my concerns privately. Is it reasonable to worry that no one is helping her consider sustainable options before she ends up facing significant hardship.

The general consensus from Reddit: No one asked her.

This person says it’s simply not up to her.

This person says it’s not her business.

And this person concurs: NO ONE asked her.

Trying to protect someone from a brutal path isn’t the same as doubting them, but to a protective sibling, it can sound exactly like that.

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.