When you’re young, living with roommates can be a lot of fun – but it can also be a tricky business.

That’s because you’re all young adults, and likely all have very different expectations of one another, and life in general.

For some this means keeping the house clean and tidy, while others couldn’t think of anything more dull.

So it’s time for negotiations and compromises – and a lot of them.

That’s exactly the case for the woman in this story, who lives with two roommates.

The trouble is, it always seems to be her who is having to compromise.

Read on to find out why.

AITA for telling my roommate that she is not my responsibility and I don’t owe her anything?

I am roommates in a 3×2 apartment with some previous friends. I will refer to them as Amelia (20, female) and Isabella (21, female).

For the past three months, I have been screwed over multiple times: a $125 Sam’s Club visit that neither paid me back for, borrowing cash to go out and never being paid back, breaking my makeup when borrowed, not returning clothes that they have borrowed.

The one that irks me the most is the amount I drive them around. They don’t have cars, and I’ve driven Amelia to class twice a week for a whole semester and driven them home for breaks, grocery store visits, home from night outs, and other people’s houses.

I drive them around constantly; they have never offered me gas money. Now I know I should ask for it, and that’s on me. My therapist tells me all the time. Here’s where the problem started, and I may be in the wrong here.

Let’s see how she started trying to stand up for herself.

In my baby steps attempt to start setting boundaries and saying no, I stopped offering to drive them places or let them use my things when they would bait me to allow them to instead of asking.

I bring another friend to the grocery store, and she asks and always buys me coffee as “payment.” I recently started going with her and waiting for my roommates to ask me. Isabella has begun to ask when she needs to go, and I only offer to bring them to the grocery store that is a five-minute drive away.

They don’t give me gas money, so we aren’t going far or to places where they need my membership card to check out. Thus, they want to do it together, and I end with the tab.

Amelia isn’t available when Isabella and I are available; for some reason, she won’t allow us to find some compromise. This has happened twice now, and we went without her.

And this situation has continued to escalate.

Isabella offered to get the things Amelia needed, and I did not because Amelia was the one who had never even tried to pay me back. She has made a massive deal about how her other friend had to bring her.

She then asked me if she could drive my car to the grocery store when she couldn’t go with us, and I said absolutely not, which upset her. I  apologized for being crass, but she was out of line for even asking.

This has been boiling and is now bubbling over today. About a week ago, Amelia was baiting me to let her use my shampoo and conditioner. Going on and on about how expensive shampoo and conditioner are and how she’s so broke. I didn’t bite.

She continued for the next couple of days, and I didn’t say she could use mine, and I put them in my room. My shampoo is costly, and I use it sparingly because of that. I wash my hair once a week, and my roommate washes hers daily. I had a gut feeling that after she “borrowed” my lotion until it was gone, she would do the same to my shampoo and conditioner.

From there, the stand off worsened.

She finally outright asked me, and I said no. She got upset and didn’t talk to me for a day or two. This is how she would guilt me into letting her use my stuff.

She would always talk about how lucky I am to have the things I have. Most of my clothes, makeup, and shoes have been purchased by myself. She talks about her upbringing and how she could never afford the things that I have.

A single mother raised me and was by no means rich and barely lower middle class. I got a job when I was fifteen and devoted much more time than I should have as a young teen to work since then. I’ve had multiple jobs at once and insane hours because I like nice things. I paid for pretty much everything I have except for my car.

I am very grateful for my car, and that’s why I don’t have a problem with taking time out of my day to drive people around. I know that it is a luxury. I drive coworkers home, my other friends to work, etc. Everyone besides my roommates either offers gas money or some sort of payment through food or drinks. I rarely take the gas money; their offering is enough for me.

Then, things blew up entirely.

So here’s where the confrontation started. I was doing my laundry, and she asked me why I was using her detergent purchased by ME when we went to Sam’s Club.

It set me over my limit, and I listed all the shared stuff in our apartment that was purchased by me that they use —including but not limited to toilet paper, paper towels, laundry and dish detergent, trash bags, candles and wax melters, the vacuum, and all the condiments in the apartment.

She threw in her other friend having to drive her to the grocery store, the length of my showers, how loud I am going into my room after I’m off work and anything she could say to moan. That’s when I told her she could go and buy her own things, and I wasn’t going to share anything of mine with her.

I told her how much money she owed me from “borrowing it.” I told her she needed to give me the pillows I purchased when we went on that Sam’s Club trip, and she needed to provide me with anything she had ever borrowed from me.

But her roommate had an unexpected retort.

Amelia said that because we are roommates, I’m supposed to do all this stuff. I told her that her going to the grocery store was not my problem and I didn’t owe her anything so she could stop using my things.

She said that I was a raging and arrogant *****. Our other roommate is “staying out of it,” but I overheard them talking when they “didn’t realize I was home.”

I’ve asked some of my friends, and they don’t think I’m wrong, but mutual friends said that I should be the one to drive her places, and sharing stuff is all a part of being roommates, and when I don’t offer to bring them when I’m going with my other friend is rude.

So, is this something I should try to return from? We don’t cross paths with busy class schedules and how much I work.

AITA?

Sure, this roommate might have gotten a little frustrated when she was at the end of her tether – but it was entirely warranted, given that she lives with two other women who take her completely for granted.

They need to realise that she’s not their mother, and they shouldn’t be waiting around for her to drive them places, give them money, and so on.

Their behavior is completely entitled and shows how little they actually think of her.

Let’s see what the Reddit community made of this.

This person agreed that they are treating her like a parent.

While others, who live with roommates, confirmed that this is not a ‘normal’ set up.

Meanwhile, this Redditor encouraged her to find new roommates where she could start from scratch.

Regardless of whether or not you think someone is more fortunate than you are, it’s never okay to take advantage of them.

The way in which her roommates are treating her is completely inappropriate – and they will only continue to behave this way if she lets them.

She needs to get out.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.