Some friendships are exactly what they appear to be, but others are something else entirely.

In this story, one woman had spent two years thinking she had a genuine close friendship with a married man… until he grew more and more forward with his questionable advances.

So as he made his romantic interest clearer and clearer, she started second-guessing everything about him — and beating herself up about not catching on sooner.

Keep reading for the full story.

AITAH my married friend just confessed to hiding me from his wife

I (F25) met this friend (M42) two years ago, and up until this point I honestly considered him a close friend.

I went out with him yesterday and he was acting a bit weird.

He was acting pretty boldly for a married man.

He kept complimenting me, which is really very kind, but he just kept going on and on about it.

It made me feel odd, as he has a wife.

He kept digging a deeper and deeper hole.

He then started telling me that his wife is insecure about him hanging out with me — and I quote — because “I am young and beautiful.”

He told me that he hides my messages from her because it makes her uncomfortable when I message him.

It starts to become clear the couple doesn’t have the best relationship.

He said that there are some parts of his life that are shared with his wife, and some parts that are just for him.

He said I am in the parts just for him.

She starts to think this is more than just a friendship to him.

He then mentioned that he liked my attention and that it made him feel good.

I asked if he meant happy, and he said yes — but then hinted at having some other, more intimate attraction to it.

This makes her completely uncomfortable.

I am beyond disgusted with this.

I feel gross and disgusting.

All this time I thought we were just friends.

Suddenly, some of his past behavior makes more sense.

I kept asking to meet his wife because I wanted to get to know her too, and he would just say she was anxious or insecure about meeting me, so I didn’t push too hard.

I feel like he made me into his mistress, and I feel appalled to be in that situation.

I would never do that to someone — it is disgusting behavior.

It’s starting to really impact her mental health.

This entire time I thought we were just friends, and I feel so stupid for letting this happen.

I have since not opened any of his messages and plan to cut him out of my life entirely.

Is this my fault for not seeing it sooner?

AITA?

Talk about a blindside.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a cashier who met a customer outside of work, and now they can never go back to their old relationship.

What did Reddit think?

This commenter thinks this woman is completely faultless here.

Let’s be clear: this was never a friendship for him.

The age gap is really what sticks out for this user.

This commenter thinks he was just counting on her not knowing better.

She’s not wrong for being disoriented after what she thought was a close friend pulled the rug out from under her.

Looking back, knowing that he was carrying a flame for her did explain a lot of his questionable behavior. But for future reference, secrecy is never the sign of a good friendship.

At the end of the day, this guy was just using her — and that’s not how true friends behave.