Living with a roommate while in collage is a pretty normal thing. In addition to helping to keep costs down, this also helps to teach young adults how to interact and deal with conflict on their own.

What would you do if you were having friends over for a game night, and while they were there, your roommate complained that you were being loud in the living area while she was trying to study?

That is what happened to the young lady in this story, she she suggested that her friend go study in her room if she needed it to be quiet because the living room was for hosting guests and entertaining.

Now her roommate is upset and won’t talk to her, claiming that she was being controlling and mean.

AITA for telling my roommate that she should go to her bedroom while I have friends over?

I (20F) have lived with my roommate “Sarah” (21F) for the past 8 months. Sarah and I were friends for a couple of years before we decided to move in together, and up until last night, we have had very few issues.

Sounds like a great place to live.

Our house is a common hangout spot for our friends and that’s never been a problem; we just let each other know if we are having people over.

A few days ago, a couple of friends and I made plans to have a board game night at my house. I let Sarah know and she said that would be fine.

What’s the problem with Sarah?

When I got home from class yesterday, I saw that Sarah was studying at the kitchen table, right next to the living room where we would be hanging out. I reminded her about the game night and she acknowledged.

About an hour later, my friends arrived. We put on some light music and began playing our game. As time passed, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Sarah was looking annoyed, sighing and talking under her breath.

What? She knew that they were coming over. Why doesn’t she go to the library or into her room?

I thought that she was frustrated with her schoolwork and I didn’t pay much attention to it. After a while, my friends went outside to smoke, leaving Sarah and I alone.

Sarah then said to me, “Do you think you guys could keep things down? All this noise is really distracting while I’m trying to study…”

I agree, this seems pretty reasonable.

This was surprising to me as I didn’t think that we were being too loud at all. We were talking at a normal volume and playing our music softly.

I told her, “I don’t think we’re being unreasonable. I gave you a heads up that we were gonna have a game night and you’re choosing to study in the kitchen. If you want a quieter environment you could just go to your room.”

Honestly, Sarah seems out of line here.

Sarah said, “Why should I have to go to my room? I was here first, you guys should just play the game in your room.”

I said, “The common areas of a house are for hanging out with other people, and if you’re studying in the common area, you may have to deal some noise.

She isn’t making rules. She is just saying that  if she wants quiet, she can go to a quiet room.

If you want peace and quiet, that’s what your bedroom is for. I don’t think it’s fair for us to move our entire game into my room just because you want to do homework out here.”

Sarah said, “Since when do you make all the rules about where I can and can’t be in the house?”

I’m guessing that she is just stressed from her studies.

I said, “I’m not telling you where you can and can’t be, I’m just saying that if you want to hang out in the living area there might be other people around.”

Sarah said, “Fine, have it your way then,” picked up her laptop, and stormed to her room. My friends came back in and we finished the game; I didn’t see Sarah for the rest of the night.

Sometimes things take time to get back to normal.

I thought things would have blown over by this morning, but that was not the case. When I went to the kitchen to make breakfast, Sarah was already there. She said, “Oh, sorry, am I allowed to be here? Since you make all the rules now.”

I said, “Sarah, that’s not what I meant and you know it,” but she took her coffee and stormed off to her room. She hasn’t talked to me since.

She didn’t do anything wrong. I don’t know why Sarah is so angry.

I don’t think I was being unreasonable last night, but Sarah seems to be really upset.

AITA?

It really seems to me that Sarah is just stressed and upset about her studies and possibly other things. She is taking it out on her roommate because of the situation, but hopefully things will calm down soon.

If you enjoyed this post, check out this story about a student who was threatened after refusing an elective exam, so they took the case to the district.

Let’s read on and see what the people in the comments have to say about this difficult situation.

Common spaces are for everyone to use.

This commenter may be right.

Trying to have an adult conversation about this is a good idea.

There is definitely something else going on here.

She could have left at anytime.

I don’t know what it is, but there is more going on with her roommate, and she needs to get to the bottom of it. There is really no reason for her to get so upset that people came over and played games as planned.

Whether it is stress from her classes or she is angry that she wasn’t invited to play games with them, the roommate should not be taking it out on her. At a minimum, her roommate is acting very immature.