Living with roommates can be a whole lot of fun, and can even lead to some lifelong friendships. Just look at Friends. Chandler and Joey never would have met or struck up a relationship if they hadn’t ended up living together, and their friendship was probably the strongest, most genuine and enduring of them all. And it all came from a random roommate vacancy.

But if you want to have a good relationship with your roommates, it’s important that you all understand and respect one another’s boundaries. After all, we’re all human and we all have different likes and dislikes, things we can and can’t tolerate, and ways that we do and don’t want to live in our own home. Once you know these things about your roommate, as long as these are reasonable things, it’s easy to respect them, and allow everyone to live their best lives.

The young woman in this story, however, isn’t about to respect her roommate’s boundaries if they aren’t convenient for her. And unfortunately for her roommate, she sees nothing wrong with this behaviour at all.

Read on to find out what happened here.

AITA for telling my boyfriend to use my roommate’s bathroom?

I (19, female) just moved into an apartment with two other girls, Kayla and Maya (both 21, female).

Two days ago, I had my boyfriend Liam (20, male) over, and we were hanging out between classes. We lost track of time while talking and realized that if we didn’t leave in the next couple of minutes that I’d be late for my afternoon class.

I rushed to the bathroom to pee, and a moment later my boyfriend knocked on the door and told me to hurry up because he had to go too.

We really didn’t have much time left and I still needed to brush my teeth and check my hair and makeup, and I wasn’t going to do that with him peeing in the bathroom.

Read on to find out what solution she came up with.

My mind raced and the only thing I could think of was to tell Liam to use my roommate Kayla’s bathroom, as her bedroom door is right across from mine and I know she doesn’t lock her door.

Liam went and used Kayla’s bathroom, and five minutes later we were out the door.

I barely made it to class on time, but I made it, so I relaxed and things went on as normal. However, when I got out of class, I had some missed texts from my roommate group chat.

I opened it to see Kayla asking if anyone used her bathroom while she was at work.

Uh-oh. Let’s see how she responded.

Maya had said no, that she’d been gone since 9am and wouldn’t be back until after a thing with her sorority sisters. I responded saying I didn’t use it, thinking there was no way she really knew that someone had been in there while she was out.

I put my phone away and headed to the food court to grab something for dinner, then went back home, only to find Kayla on the couch watching tv.

I said hi and just headed straight for my room, but before I could get my door unlocked Kayla asked “Why was Liam in my bathroom?”

I asked her what she meant, and she told me she found ashes in the sink and a cigarette butt in the trash. Liam is the only one of us or our partners that actively smokes cigarettes.

Yikes! Finally, she decided to admit her wrongdoing.

I figured at that point I was caught, and admitted that I told him to use her bathroom when we were in a rush to leave.

She told me that’s no excuse and reminded me that not only did we “violate her privacy” but that Maya and her have already asked that Liam not smoke inside the apartment. None of them like the smell of cigarettes and Kayla especially dislikes them because she grew up with a chain smoking father.

I tried to apologize again and asked why it was such a big deal, because she never locks her door so what exactly does she expect? She told me she shouldn’t have to tell me as an adult to not go into her bedroom without permission, then got up and went into her room, slamming it and locking the door.

I called Liam upset about it and told him what happened and he said Kayla was overreacting. I think so too, but she hasn’t spoken to me since and has been ignoring me. Maya has talked to me noticeably less as well. I’m wondering if I messed up here or if they’re just overreacting for real.

AITA?

It’s no wonder that Kayla and Maya are mad at her.

Really, it’s not the fact that she allowed Liam to use the bathroom, even though that was in breach of their agreement.

Rather, it’s the fact that she lied about it – and is now acting like she did nothing wrong at all.

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Let’s see what the Reddit community made of this.

This person thought she’d wronged her roommates in more ways than one.

And others thought Liam was equally to blame for smoking in the bathroom.

Meanwhile, this Redditor explained all the things she should be apologising for.

This woman was so in the wrong, and yet she refused to see it. But she wasn’t ignorant, not at all. She knew that other roommates’ bathrooms were off limits, and yet she told her boyfriend to use Kayla’s bathroom regardless. She knew that her roommates didn’t like people smoking in the apartment, and yet even when she found out that her boyfriend had smoked in her roommate’s personal space, she saw nothing wrong with that. And she lied on a technicality to try to avoid the fallout from the things she knew she’d done wrong.

Because that’s the truth. If she didn’t know that it was wrong to let Liam use Kayla’s bathroom, she never would have lied about it.

Now she’s thinking that her roommates are in the wrong for the way they’re treating her? How clueless can one person be? Of course they’re mad at her – most people would be trying to find a way to get her off the lease if behaviour like this became a pattern.

She needs to grow up and take accountability for her own actions. She needs to learn timekeeping, and to let Liam pee while she does her make up. But most of all, she needs to learn a little respect.

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