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Getting engaged changes a lot of things about your life, but most people wouldn’t put “no longer available to help family members two weekends a year” on that list. The woman in this story apparently would.

Her fiancé has been babysitting his teenage nephew a couple times a year when the kid’s parents go out of town, a commitment that amounts to sleeping at their house while a teenager does teenager things in another room.

She thinks the arrangement is an imposition on a man with a full-time job and limited time off, and believes getting engaged should graduate him out of the family babysitter role.

He disagrees, says he’s family-oriented, and told her she’s being controlling.

Now the two are fighting over where their priorities should really lie.

Keep reading for the full drama.

AITA for not want my fiancé to “babysit” for my soon to be in-laws?

So my fiancé Andrew (M29) and I (F29) recently got engaged and live about an hour away from his family.

Maybe 2-3 times throughout the year his aunt and uncle ask him to watch his nephew who is 16 years old!

She’s always found their requests to be a big nuisance.

It’s always on a weekend when they are going out of town, so I get that they want some overnight supervision for the teen, but I feel like it’s super inconvenient that they ask him to do this for them.

Because he has a stressful full time job, has limited time off, and watching the nephew takes up the better part of Saturday-Sunday.

She dismisses the family’s attempt at payment and continues to be annoyed by the whole ordeal.

They always include me in the invite to come babysit but I usually work Saturdays and can’t.

He says they pay him but I think the money they leave is basically implied money to order pizza with and he doesn’t really need the extra money anyways.

So I feel like him becoming a fiancé and future husband should relieve him from his role as family babysitter.

Lately her annoyance has turned to her fiancé.

I’m annoyed for one that he agrees to do it and two that his aunt and uncle even ask this of him.

I’ve brought it up with him and he kind of shrugs it off and says he’s just family oriented (even though he hardly spends time with his nephew when babysitting because nephew is typical 16 year old and hangs out with friends or plays video games) and says I’m being controlling for not wanting him to spend time with his family.

But she doesn’t understand why her fiancé would feel this way.

I want to spend time with his family too. I just don’t see how I’m being controlling.

And I think it’d be appropriate to ask him to babysit if he was like a college student and needed the money but not as someone with a stressful job and fiancé.

AITA?

It sounds like this couple isn’t on the same page about what being “family oriented” really entails.

What did Reddit have to say?

This user thinks the woman might be behaving a bit too harshly about the whole thing.

Maybe this woman could learn a thing or two from her husband.

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At the end of the day, is her future husband caring about his family really the worst thing in the world?

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a brother who is concerned about the trouble with splitting funeral costs equally between siblings.

This user shares their hot take on the matter.

She keeps saying she wants to spend time with his family too, but everything else in the story contradicts that.

When you lay it all out, this woman doesn’t want her fiancé having anything to do with babysitting — and in fact, she thinks the fact that his family is even asking is proof of malintent.

If she truly wants to be family oriented, she should take a lesson from her husband. Because being there for your family means showing up, even when you find it a little inconvenient.

She thinks this is a hill to die on, but it’s barely a speed bump in the grand scheme of things.

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Author

Benjamin Cottrell

Benjamin Cottrell | Assistant Editor, Internet Culture

Benjamin Cottrell is an Assistant Editor and contributing writer at TwistedSifter, specializing in internet culture, viral social dynamics, and the moral complexities of online communities. He brings a highly analytical, editorial voice to his reporting on workplace conflicts, malicious compliance, and interpersonal drama, with a specific focus on nuanced stories that lack an obvious villain.

As a published author of rhetorical criticism, Benjamin leverages his academic background in human communication to dissect and elevate viral social media threads. Instead of simply summarizing events, he provides readers with balanced, deep-dive commentary into why the internet reacts the way it does. In addition to his cultural reporting, he is an experienced fine art photography essayist and video game reviewer.

When he isn’t analyzing the latest viral debates, Benjamin is usually chipping away at his extensive video game backlog, hunting down the best new restaurants, or out exploring the city with a camera in hand.

Connect with Benjamin on Instagram and read more of his essays on Substack.