Pexels

One of the best things about dating – for many people anyway – is finding and choosing the person that you want to spend your life with. Sure, people have different reasons for wanting to be with someone, but the most important is knowing that that person will be there with you for the rest of your life, through thick and thin – just as you will be for them. Knowing that you will be able to get through anything together, and more importantly, that you’ll be able to smile through the worst of times, as well as being able to cry on their shoulder.

The woman in this story has absolutely found that in her partner – and the way that he has been there for her through her struggles with chronic illness have proven that. She trusts him implicitly – and a conversation that she overheard between him and his mother proves that she’s quite right to. However, that conversation has rocked the foundations of her relationship with his mother, and for good reason.

Read on to find out what happened.

AITA for not wanting to see his mom after she said I was embarrassing and ugly?

My boyfriend and I have a really good relationship, overall.

Since we’ve been together, I have been diagnosed with a chronic disease. He has been wonderfully supportive and there for me through everything. I am really appreciative of him.

I try not to care about how I look, but it’s difficult not to care. I know looks aren’t everything, but they are important. The main reason I wanted to date my boyfriend in the first place is because I found him attractive.

I use to be pretty, but my chronic illness has destroyed that. Now, I look sick. I’m too thin, too pale, am losing a ton of hair, etc. I miss how I use to look.

Let’s see how this has changed things in her life.

And people make comments. Since I look so different from my boyfriend, looks wise, people will straight up ask how I pulled that. Even my mom, when looking at my old pictures, will say wow, you use to look so pretty. Which hurts to hear.

But anyway, generally it doesn’t bug me. Or at least I try to not let it. But one night my boyfriend’s mom was staying over and they were talking in the living room till the late night.

I went out to get some water and I overheard his mom say some really bad things about me. She basically said she doesn’t get why I don’t put as much effort anymore in how I look. She pointed out that my boyfriend’s exes would put a lot more effort into how they look compared to me.

My boyfriend said, “she is chronically ill. You’re comparing her to people who weren’t dealing with a chronic illness. That’s not fair.”

Read on to find out how his mom replied.

His mom said, “OK. But how does that affect how she looks? She can control how she looks, chronic illness has nothing to do with that.”

To this my boyfriend was like that’s not true, she genuinely can’t help it. She’s struggling to make it through the day, how she looks shouldn’t be the concern.

He also asked his mom why she was being mean, I remember him asking that.

She said I don’t want you to be embarrassed to be seen out in public. I want you to have the best that you can get. I won’t say this in front of her, but I understand if you want better.

Yikes. Let’s see how her boyfriend responded to that.

He basically asked her to stop. He said he wasn’t embarrassed to be with me. He also said that he was happy in this relationship, and that he loved me, blah blah. He also asked her to not tell me this, that it would really hurt my feelings. She agreed not to.

But I did overhear it all and it broke my heart, especially because his mom has been nothing but sweet and amazing to me. She was always really supportive of me. She’s even paid for treatment when I needed the help. So this was out of left field.

My boyfriend still loves her. He adores his family a ton. And they are just wanting the best for him. I can’t fault them for that. It hurts though. I never told him I overheard the conversation, but I haven’t seen her since. I haven’t been able to bring myself to see her.

AITA?

This is a really awful thing to overhear, and it’s so sad that this will have only deepened her feelings of dismay about how she’s ended up looking.

But one good thing has come out of this, and that is that she knows that her boyfriend loves her and really does have her back – even in the face of comments like this from his mom, which were sly and framed as ‘supportive’.

And that’s why she needs to tell him what she overheard – because he’s a good guy, and they both deserve that transparency.

Never Miss a Story

Sign up to get our BEST stories of the week straight to your inbox.

Let’s see how folks on Reddit responded to this.

This person agreed that she should share what she heard with him.

And other thought that his mom no longer deserved her time or attention.

Meanwhile, this Redditor thought that the mom wasn’t being a good parent – to either of them.

As a parent, it’s your job to support your children – and, ideally, your children-in-law too. And while this mom did frame her discussion as being supportive of her son, in that she would support him if he chose to leave his girlfriend over her looks, the fact that she kept on pushing even after he refuted her suggestions shows that she had other motives too. In the end, your child gets to choose their partner – and looks fade, so it doesn’t matter at all what a person looks like. What’s important is their personality, and how two partners support one another.

This couple are clearly well matched, and deeply in love and supportive of each other. That should be all that matters to the mom, but instead she’s saying these insulting things behind her son’s girlfriend’s back. It’s a horrible thing to have burdened her son with, especially now he’s carrying the weight of that and not knowing that his girlfriend overheard.

Sure, having the discussion with her boyfriend about what she heard might be painful for both of them – especially since he loves his mom, and is probably hurting a lot knowing what she said about the other woman he loves – but it will likely be a weight off both of their shoulders. And for sure, they’ll get through it together.

Add TwistedSifter to your Google News Add us as a preferred source on Google

Author

Kyra Piperides

Kyra Piperides, PhD | Contributing Science Writer

Dr. Kyra Piperides is a contributing writer for TwistedSifter, specializing in Science & Discovery. Holding a PhD in English with a dedicated focus on the intersections of science, politics, and literature, she brings over 12 years of professional writing and editorial expertise to her reporting.

Kyra possesses a highly authoritative background in academic publishing, having served as the editor of an academic journal for three years. She is also the published author of two books and numerous research-driven articles. At TwistedSifter, she leverages her rigorous academic background to translate complex scientific concepts, global tech innovations, and environmental breakthroughs into highly engaging, accessible narratives for a mainstream audience.

Based in the UK, Kyra is an avid backpacker who spends her free time immersing herself in different cultures across distant shores—a passion that brings a rich, global perspective to her writing about Earth and nature.

Connect with Kyra on Twitter/X and Instagram.