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There is a common misconception that introducing grandkids into the picture will ease tensions among the pre-existing family members. Though anyone with fraught parental relationships will be the first to tell you that’s not the case.

How would you handle a parent that clearly favored one set of grandkids over the other? One woman recently shared her final straw regarding this sitaution on Reddit. Here’s what happened.

AITA for going off on my dad regarding my kids and their names

So my dad is what I call a genderist.

I was not born the correct gender in his eyes because I cannot carry out the family name, even though he wanted a daughter.

This is certainly passive aggressive.

Ever since I got married he was misspelling my last name or hyphenating my surname with my married name.

I went off on him for it and stopped talking to him.

He started behaving once I started popping out kids.

But then he started messing up on their names.

Seems like there’s no pleasing this guy.

Like my daughter is Emily, but he will spell it “Emili”- same for my son.

His name is Jaxson but he will spell it Jakson?

He also gets their birthdays wrong.

Why bother pushing for grandkids if you don’t want to be involved with them?

But my older brothers kids….remembers birthdays, names, goes to all their important events, etc.

So last week was my son and nephew’s birthday, and he just messages me today: “Happy Birthday Jakson. Grandpa loves you”.

I called him and thanked him for the message but asked why he was messaging today when my son’s bday is the same day and nephew?

His excuse was pathetic.

He said he forgot it was his birthday too (son and nephew are 2 yrs apart in age).

I saw red and just went off.

I asked him how can he love a child but forget the day he was born?

He deserves to be called out!

Then I just ripped into him and called him stupid and incompetent, because how can he have a hard time spelling the simplest names for my kids, but he can remember how to spell the more unique names of my older brother’s kids?

I told him he doesn’t respect me or my kids and that’s because we don’t have the same last name as him.

He tried to reprimand me and tell me I shouldn’t talk to him like that cause he’s my father.

There’s no way this conversation is going to end well.

I told him I have ever right to talk to him how I want when it comes to disrespect and said if I had the right part between my legs he would have given me respect. But since I don’t, he and he cannot respect me and my boundaries he can forget about me and my kids.

I have been getting calls and texts this morning from his side saying I was rude and out of line and he is my father and should respect him, he is old and doesn’t have a good memory and blah blah blah.

Not surprising that the rest of the family is going to stand by him no matter what.

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Let’s see if Reddit could offer any helpful perspective.

The comments immediately flooded with some tough love.

And encouraged the OP to stand by her convictions.

Another person considered the well-being of the kids.

Someone else noted the cultural pattern at play.

But not everyone was kind or considerate.

Blood isn’t always thicker than water.

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Author

Liz Wiest