His Family Is Splitting His Father’s Funeral Costs at $5,000 Per Person — He’s Noticed Not Everyone Can Equally Afford That
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Splitting costs evenly sounds fair on paper, until the people being asked to split them are standing in very different financial positions.
One man witnessed that tension play out as his family of 13 siblings prepares for their father’s funeral, with plans to divide roughly $5,000 in total costs per person, split evenly across an estimated $15,000-$25,000 traditional 3-day ceremony.
The math looks simple until factoring in that most of the younger siblings, some barely out of their teens, have little to no savings or full-time employment, while the older siblings had decades of financial stability to prepare, including securing life insurance policies for their father back when premiums were still affordable.
By the time the younger siblings were old enough to consider similar policies, their father’s age and health conditions had pushed monthly rates as high as $300-$500, with some insurers refusing coverage outright.
Now the family is left figuring out how an equal financial split accounts for such an unequal starting point.
Keep reading for the full dilemma.
AITA for wanting the older siblings to contribute more for the funeral expenses since they got life insurance policies?
I’m Asian male (30) in the US, and my father is close to his passing days. I recently had a family gathering to discuss the matters of the arrangements.
There are a total of 13 children, and the youngest being 18.
In this family’s case there was a very particular expectation when it came to the funeral.
The family wanted everyone to contribute all evenly towards the funeral expenses. In my culture the typical funeral lasts 3 days.
Usually a funeral “event hall” is rented out that just offers security, alcohol permit, coffin, kitchen, eating area, and the main hall.
As one would imagine, this could get quite expensive.
We saw the average cost to be around $15,000-$25,000. Average contribution spread among the 11 children is to be $2,500 rounded up for the funeral expenses. Another $2,500 for additional expenses.
The additional expenses are for food, drinks, and materials for the decorations. The food and drinks are for the prior days for extended family members who want to help with the preparation.
But in reality, each sibling’s financial picture looks quite different.
Most of the younger siblings either do not have full time jobs or hardly any savings.
When my father was younger and healthier, the older siblings were established in life, so they were able to open life insurance policies for my father at a lower rate.
The younger ones, however…
When they were able to work, were not able to open a policy because of the average rate being around $300-$500 a month due to my father being older and having health conditions.
Some insurances just outright refused to offer.
AITA for wanting the older siblings to contribute more?
The math behind an even split only works if everyone’s financial history looks roughly the same, and in this family it clearly doesn’t.
What did Reddit have to say?
It doesn’t sound like an even split makes sense at all for this family.
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This user doesn’t think the older siblings should be penalized just for being older.
This user has another idea that could work out better.
This commenter shares what they think is fair.
The older siblings’ ability to secure affordable insurance wasn’t a reflection of better planning, it was simply a matter of timing that worked in their favor.
Expecting the younger siblings, many without steady income or savings, to match that same $5,000 contribution overlooks a financial gap that was built well before any of them had a say in it.
This family clearly needs to find a different plan of action.
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