She Watched Her Friend Keep Returning to an Abusive Husband—So She Drew an Ultimatum
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It’s hard to keep giving the same advice when someone keeps going back to the situation that’s hurting them.
For one woman, that frustration has been building for years as she watches her friend leave an abusive husband and then return to him again.
Each time, her friend talks about divorce only to move back in after he apologizes.
Meanwhile, the stress has gotten so bad that she says she can’t sleep and her hair is falling out.
Finally, the woman told her she loves her, but she doesn’t want to hear about the husband again until the divorce is actually happening.
Read on to see how it all went down.
AITAH? I told my friend don’t talk to me about her husband again until the divorce is finalized
This is the millionth time she has moved back in with her abusive, toxic husband, who screams at her and cheats on her constantly.
He basically completely ruined her mental health. She’s a shell of herself. Her hair is falling out. She said she can’t sleep.
One month she’s saying she is going to divorce him, then the next month she’s telling me he apologized and she’s moving back in. Rinse and repeat.
She said it’s hard to be alone at her age, being in her late 40s.
She tried to reason with her, but it didn’t work.
I told her, “I love you, but you have to stand up and stop being a pushover to this man. Life is hard. Choose your hard. Being alone is hard, but being stressed out by an abusive man is harder. People get divorced all the time. Nobody has ever died from being alone, but people have died from being in an abusive relationship.”
Leaving a relationship where you love someone is hard, and there will be a grieving process, but she has to stop going back.
I can’t take the nonstop complaining. I need to see results. I told her I will not discuss this man with her anymore until I see divorce papers in her hand. It hurts me to see her hurt.
She’s been complaining about him for years, and I honestly don’t think she’s ever gonna leave him because her self-esteem is so low that she thinks this is love. Is showing her tough love the right way to go? I don’t know what else to do.
Frustrated, she said it in the simplest way possible.
I told her he will never grow because she enables all of his toxic behavior.
She said, “Humans weren’t meant to be alone forever.”
I was like, “Nobody said you were gonna be alone forever, but at least give yourself a chance to meet someone who will love and cherish you. You might not meet him right away, though.”
She said marriage is so hard.
I was like, “Marriage is not that hard when you’re not with someone who curses you out and screams at you daily.”
AITA?
Wow! It’s so sad to see women stuck in situations like this with men.
Let’s check out what the readers over at Reddit think about how she handled it.
According to this person, the woman’s not going to leave him.
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Here’s someone who’s been there and gotten out of that.
This reader would say something along these lines.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a man who offered to buy his parents a house with his lottery winnings, only to find out they think they deserve half of all his winnings.
Exactly!
There’s only so much she can do here.
She’s spent years listening to the same promises, only to watch her friend go right back to him every time.
At some point, that becomes very exhausting for the people trying to help too.
Ultimately, she’s right. She can still love her friend and be there for her, but she doesn’t have to keep having the same conversation over and over.
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