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Helping a family member shouldn’t feel like a burden.

The following story involves a woman who had been financially supporting her brother-in-law and nephew for seven years.

She and her husband paid for their housing, utilities, and basic necessities while the BIL contributed almost nothing.

After seven long years, she decided to finally speak up after reaching her limit.

Let’s take a closer look!

AITAH for not being patient?

I (30F) and my husband (35M) have been taking care of his brother (46M) for the past 7 years.

7 years ago, my sister-in-law was deported back to Mexico. They have 1 child (11M) together.

Over the past 7 years, my husband and I have been financially taking care of his brother and nephew almost 6 days a week.

We pay for the mortgage, light, water, gas, basic home essentials, and everything in between.

This woman’s marriage with her husband was on the rocks due to their current situation with her brother-in-law.

My brother-in-law has 2 part-time jobs, and his wife works on and off in Mexico.

Whatever he makes, he gives to her.

While they do have a home there, he does not want to drive back to Mexico every day to go to his home.

Rather, he stays with us every day and does not assist with any bills.

My marriage is on the rocks as my husband does not want to ask him to leave.

She suggested that her BIL drive back and forth from Mexico to California every day.

My brother-in-law recently, 1 and 1/2 months ago, found a room for his son and himself to sleep in, to move out of our home.

Unfortunately, excuses have continued to come that he is unable to leave our home due to one thing or another.

I have asked my husband if it is possible to ask him to, in the meantime, be driving back and forth from Mexico to Cali until the room is ready.

For context, we live in a border town, so Mexico is just across the bridge.

Her husband accused that she was being selfish and unreasonable.

He has said that I am being unreasonable and that I need to be more patient.

I believe I have been patient for the past 7 years while not saying anything to my BIL and paying his way.

AITA for being this way?

Wow! Seven years is a very long time to keep covering someone else’s expenses.

The fact that it has started affecting OP’s marriage means it isn’t a small issue.

Her husband may want to help his brother, but it is understandable that she feels the arrangement has gone far beyond temporary support.

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Let’s check out the comments of other people on this story.

Short and straightforward.

Here’s a similar thought.

This person shares an honest opinion.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about an uncle who is surprised to find his niece’s birthday party all about him after one unkind comment.

You have a husband problem, says this one.

Finally, people are saying the same thing.

Seven years of helping isn’t a “temporary” arrangement.

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Author

Heide Lazaro

Heide Lazaro is a veteran human-interest writer and digital culture expert with over a decade of experience in editorial strategy. Specializing in lifestyle, social dynamics, and the internet's most compelling stories, Heide has authored and published more than 10 books online. Beyond her daily reporting, she is a dedicated motivational speaker who helps audiences connect through the power of storytelling. When she isn't sifting through the web's wildest real-life drama, Heide is an avid runner, painter, and novel-enthusiast fueled by a truly excellent cup of coffee.