Asking For Help With Travel Costs Turned Into Family Drama When Her Mom And Sister Accused Her Of Being Manipulative About The Reunion
Shutterstock
Family visits can get expensive. Work makes the choice harder.
So when reunion weekend clashes with a paying gig, one young woman chooses income.
Her family takes it personally.
See why survival feels like rejection.
AITA for not coming to the summer family reunion because I have to work to make ends meet
A while back, I had to move out of the area that I was raised in because I just got priced out, even working three jobs and living with roommates.
So I just took the loss and moved to the next state over, away from the metro area, to a place that I could afford with two other roommates.
By the way, I am 24f.
My family was supportive and helped me move. I don’t think they got that they’d see me less, bc they’d ask me to come over for the weekend.
She’s between jobs, and the timing is all wrong.
It’s an 8-hour bus ride, which is no big deal, but it does take up time where I can work. Plus, I have to pay for a motel whenever I visit because my parents redid their guest room to be an office, and they don’t let people sleep on the couch, and their rentals are full.
So I have visited twice.
My family’s summer celebration is in a month. Most of my family hates traveling in the winter, so we basically have Christmas/Thanksgiving in the summer for everyone.
Well, of course, great timing. I am laid off from one of my jobs and just have the other one. But I got a job helping with a wedding that weekend, which will put me in the green for a bit.
When she explained it to her parents, her mother turned it around on her.
I told my parents I couldn’t make it, and they were so mad. I tried to tell them that I needed this money to make ends meet. I said that if they wanted me to come, they’d need to pay.
Mom was mad and said that it was manipulative.
I told her that I needed to think of the consequences of my actions.
She said she’s sick of me choosing everything but family.
When I’m not working, I’m trying to learn coding, but it’s really hard and I’m struggling to understand it. Yes before anyone asks I have a learning disability I know that’s not an excuse it just means I have to work harder.
Even her sister took the other side.
But my older sister called me to catch up.
I told her what happened with Mom.
She was very understanding, but also said that she thinks Mom is right. She knows it’s hard for me to make ends meet, but I have a lot of other options, like Uber Eats. It kind of seems like I am using the wedding gig as an excuse to be lazy, as in I get paid a lot more for less time than if I worked at Uber Eats.
She says that I should be willing to put in the extra work if I really care.
This has made me feel really bad and like I need a reality check.
AITA?
Wow! She must feel like everyone is against her.
Sign up to get our BEST stories of the week straight to your inbox.
Let’s see what advice the folks over at Reddit have to offer her.
This person has a good point.
According to this reader, money problems don’t make you a bad person.
Here’s someone who thinks her mother should cover all the costs.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a sister who let her brother maintain a shared car for years, and doesn’t want to start doing it herself now that he has his own car.
For this reader, she’s responsible, not selfish.
She skipped the reunion because the wedding job would help cover bills after losing one of her regular jobs.
Her family saw the decision as choosing work over them, even though attending would also cost her travel, lodging, and lost income.
Nothing says “family first” like sending someone an eight-hour guilt trip.
Enjoyed this story?
Sign up to get our BEST stories of the week straight to your inbox.
