A Woman Refuses To Help Her Pregnant Younger Sister Financially, And Her Reason Might Change How You See Her Decision
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It’s in our nature as a species to nurture our family ties. After all, back before we had houses and mass produced food, we all had to fend for ourselves, so it was in our interests to band together as a clan to protect our family – and by extension, our gene pool – from starvation, from attack, and from any other danger which might befall us. That is, at the heart of it, why families more or less stick together and help one another out when we need it. That, and the fact that we often genuinely love these people, and would do whatever we could to help them out.
But in our modern world, we’ve also learned that we have a choice. And if a family member is treating us badly, taking advantage, or otherwise behaving in ways that we don’t appreciate, we are also able to keep our distance now. And whether that is refusing to engage or actually going no contact with someone, we’ve learned that our own wellbeing and mental health is just as important, since our own lives can’t just be sacrificed for the happiness of others on the basis that we share the same genes.
So when the older sibling in this story was asked to help her pregnant sister out financially, she said no.
Read on to find out why.
AITA for not paying my sister’s rent or going to her baby shower?
I am 31, and I have a sister who is currently 25 and expecting a baby with a new fiancé who she began dating last October.
I have two sisters, one from my mom and one from my dad.
My sister from my mom and I grew up in the same household, whereas my relationship with my sister on my dad’s side has been on a as needed basis since our father left the state when I was 12 to start a new family without the two of us.
Let’s see how life is for this sister now.
So my sister on my dad’s side starts dating this guy after breaking up with her long time term boyfriend of five years.
Her and this new guy date from October to April, and come April and she says she’s pregnant and about to get married in August – the twist is that he’s also moving out of state.
When I asked her why he is moving after finding out she’s pregnant, she says he just wanted a better life down south.
Okay?? Anyway so her plan is to leave her life, including her job, her house, her business – her whole life here – to run after this guy and start a family.
Read on to find out how all this actually went.
August comes and I’m asking her is she sure, because at this point neither of them have jobs and she is expecting to now have to pay rent with this guy.
The day that she’s supposed to leave she rents a car and packs her things alone and pregnant, as she prepares to go down south on a eight hour drive.
After seeing the family and saying her goodbyes she goes to the car and it won’t turn on. We go to the gas station and fill up a canteen thinking this may help, but no it still doesn’t come on.
I tell her I think this is a sign that she should stay home and not leave her life. But she ends up renting another car and still going.
Of course, even when she arrived things still weren’t going smoothly.
Anyway, not even a week goes by and she texts me asking me if I can help her and her man with rent. She still doesn’t have a job, and he has only just got one.
Mind you his mother is not happy about him having a child, my dad isn’t happy about her having a child, and although I love kids I think she isn’t ready financially.
I tell her no because i just paid my bills and she hasn’t even been down there long enough to be responsible for half of a rent payment less than a week in.
Then she goes on vacation out of the country on a cruise that she paid for, and comes back again asking if I can help contribute to their rent??
Read on to find out how this affected the siblings’ relationship further.
So I’m confused at this point, because why take the vacation if you needed rent money?
I ignored her and she unfollowed me on Instagram, and now I’m not going to her baby shower because obviously she has an issue with me not wanting to take care of her and her man?
AITA?
Honestly, this sister sounds exhausting.
She is definitely not ready to be a parent, since she seems neither financially nor emotionally responsible yet.
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Regardless though, the baby is coming and it’s about time that she grows up – this sibling is right about that.
Let’s see what folks on Reddit made of this.
This person agreed that the sister needed to grow up.
While others thought the older sibling was in no way obliged to help.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about two kids trying to earn money by mowing grass, and decide to solve their gas issue by stealing some of dad’s.
Meanwhile, this Redditor thought that she should not be bailed out.
Sure, it’s clear that this family thinks that the younger sibling has been a little too hasty with her new boyfriend. After all, she was fresh out of a long-term relationship when she met him and now, just months later, she’s about to get married and have his baby. And sure, sometimes we meet the right person at the most unlikely time and maybe this is that, but now she’s moving too – it just seems like everything is changing for this woman at a time when she’s about to give birth and likely needs some stability and familiarity while she settles into family life.
Regardless she has moved away and seems perfectly content to move away from her family. And yet she’s still expecting them to support her financially. And that is all while she’s proving that she is completely financially irresponsible, by going on an expensive vacation but still asking her siblings to pay her rent. Well, spoiler alert: when you have a kid it’s going to be expensive, and your family are not going to keep bailing you out. Honestly, she needs to learn that sooner rather than later, too.
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