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When you’re a kid, you might well think that adults have all the answers. After all, when you’re small it probably seems like the grown ups around you know everything – after all, they can answer so many of your questions, and they know things about stuff that you don’t even know exists yet.

But when you actually become an adult yourself, you will probably reach a moment where you are astounded by your complete and utter cluelessness, like you know even less than ever before. While that’s almost certainly not true, it’s definitely not uncommon to be struck by a situation you haven’t encountered before and feel totally helpless, not knowing where to turn.

That’s certainly how the guy in this story feels, after watching his girlfriend receive aggressive texts from her roommate, and watching as she became more and more scared about going back to her place.

Read on to find out more.

Roommate advice

My girlfriend lives in a three bed, and recently one of her roommates just sent her a very aggressive and rude message about something in the apartment.

When my girlfriend pointed out that it was rude, the response she got was in the lines of her roommate saying she had been bottling up her anger at my roommate for a while now, even though she never really brought up any such issues in the past.

I know it’s very childish to let these things bottle up instead of just bringing them up to the entire apartment to discuss.

My girlfriend is scared to go back to her place now as the roommate has also threatened to throw her stuff out. We live in Queens, NYC.

Let’s see how this has left his girlfriend feeling.

As of now my girlfriend has sent them a message asking about these issues an asked to talk about it as a group but she’s also scared to go back and deal with it.

We have filed a report with the 105th Precinct and the NYPD said they would be available if anything happens.

I’ve told my girlfriend that the longer she puts this off, the worse she would feel over time.

However, I am not sure was the right move or not, and she has also been debating staying at another friend’s place as well as I have roommates myself and in the office for most of the week.

And this guy is really stuck as to how to help.

Further context is that I, myself, have always struggled with interpreting, understanding, and properly reacting to emotions and I am fully ready to take the blast from you all for that.

I’m just trying to be a good boyfriend, and would like to know if there are any guys here who were in similar situations with their girlfriend and their roommates, and whether you yourself got involved in the issue with all of them, or let them handle it on their end.

And would love to know if any women here went through the same issues as well and has any guidance for my girlfriend.

Kudos to this guy, who is clearly doing his very best to try to help.

Honestly, you have to wonder what the roommate’s problem is.

If the messages were so severe that they’ve got the police involved and the girlfriend is scared to go back to her place, she should definitely be looking for somewhere else to live.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit had to say about this.

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This person thought he was doing a great job.

While others warned him not to get too involved.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman who can’t complete her work-from-home duties because her mom’s houseguest won’t stop talking.

Meanwhile, this Redditor thought that the roommate’s communication was the real issue.

Honestly, no one should be made to feel unsafe returning to the apartment. So whether the roommate is directly threatening his girlfriend or not – and whether she’s making empty threats or not – she’s already out of line by making the poor woman feel unsafe. And she’s admitted that she’s been bottling things up for a while which is already a problem. If she has a problem with someone she needs to speak about it before she randomly blows up at someone, who for all this time had no clue at all that they were upsetting the person in any way. It’s a truly unpleasant way to behave, and now threatening to get rid of the woman’s possessions is a step too far.

The fact that they’ve gone to the police about the messages suggests that whatever the roommate said was quite serious, and it’s clear that unless this can be resolved, their living situation is completely unsustainable. Because his girlfriend should not be having to pay for a place that she feels unsafe or intimidated going back to. If the woman isn’t totally unhinged then communication could well be the answer, but that starts with her.

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Author

Kyra Piperides

Kyra Piperides, PhD | Contributing Science Writer

Dr. Kyra Piperides is a contributing writer for TwistedSifter, specializing in Science & Discovery. Holding a PhD in English with a dedicated focus on the intersections of science, politics, and literature, she brings over 12 years of professional writing and editorial expertise to her reporting.

Kyra possesses a highly authoritative background in academic publishing, having served as the editor of an academic journal for three years. She is also the published author of two books and numerous research-driven articles. At TwistedSifter, she leverages her rigorous academic background to translate complex scientific concepts, global tech innovations, and environmental breakthroughs into highly engaging, accessible narratives for a mainstream audience.

Based in the UK, Kyra is an avid backpacker who spends her free time immersing herself in different cultures across distant shores—a passion that brings a rich, global perspective to her writing about Earth and nature.

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