In a perfect world, everyone in a family would get along well and help each other out, but that is not always the case.

What would you do if your brother was an awful person who never helped care for the family, so you wanted to cut him out of your life, but your mother wanted you to forgive him?

That is the situation that the young man in this story is in, so he is wondering if he would be doing the right thing by planning to stop all contact with his brother.

Cutting off a family member is a serious decision that should not be done on a whim, even if it is sometimes necessary. Read through the full story below and see what you think he should do.

AITAH for telling my mom I have cut my brother out of my life and I don’t want him at my future wedding?

I (24M), my mother, my grandparents (on my dad’s side), the idiot in the title (I won’t refer to him as my brother at all, it makes me sick), his wife, and their 3-year-old son all live under a roof.

What a horrible situation.

My father passed away when I was 3. We do not live in the US.

My grandparents are super old and sick. Usually, grandpa takes care of grandma, who suffers from Alzheimer’s and/or dementia.

Everyone has to pitch in to make things work.

Grandpa does the cleaning, cooking, washing, etc. He’s been in hospital for almost a week though, so my mom has been picking up the slack. I try to help when I can, mostly with the dishes.

A few days ago, my mom and I went out to buy groceries. She specifically asked the idiot to simply prep dinner for my grandma. He didn’t even have to cook, just set it out.

That guy is heartless.

When we returned hours later, we found my grandma still in bed sleeping. She has to take pills to sleep, and she spends like 16 hours in bed per day. Usually my grandpa wakes her up for meals.

The idiot hadn’t lifted a finger. When confronted, he literally said, “If she’s hungry, she’ll find a way to eat on her own.”

Sometimes walking away is the best option.

I was so disgusted that I just walked away. I’m now beating myself up for not staying and lashed it all out at him right then and there.

I blamed myself so much for a few days, to the point that I had to use all my energy just to prevent myself from screaming on my way to work, at work, and at home.

The brother seems truly awful.

For context, this isn’t the first time he’s done things like this. There were at least 2 times he had massive debts that my mom, grandparents, and even my mom’s sister had to deplete their entire life savings to pay off. Despite this, he remains an ungrateful and selfish.

I admit caring for my grandma is exhausting. Because of her condition, she often does things like forgetting to flush or to turn off the lights. It’s draining for everyone, but at least she doesn’t mean to.

He is beyond ready to cut his brother out of his life.

The idiot, on the other hand, is a functioning adult who chooses to be a burden.

I told my mom yesterday that I am done. I want to cut him out of my life entirely. I told her that when I get married in a few years, he is not invited.

I told her that I want to build a family of my own, where I can finally be happy, where I no longer feel too disgusted to go home. To do that, the idiot has to be cut out of my life entirely.

Parents generally want their kids to be close.

I don’t want to consider the jerk who ruined my family to be ‘family’. After what he has done, I can’t even consider him a proper human being. To me now he is just a pathetic low life, worse than an animal. At least dogs don’t bite the hands that feed them.

My mother is devastated. She keeps saying ‘family is family’ and that “one day I’ll change my mind.” She thinks I’m being heartless for wanting to fracture the family further.

Family doesn’t always get a free pass.

She said I could only understand when I’m a parent. To which I replied, she wouldn’t understand that her son is universally intolerable.

I feel for my mom, but I truly believe that “blood” shouldn’t be a free pass for being a jerk.

He’ll always have a brother, even if he cuts him off.

I’d rather have no brother than an idiot who treats my suffering mom and sick grandparents like garbage.

AITAH?

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If the brother really is as awful as he claims, then there is nothing wrong with limiting contact with him. In the event that the brother matures and changes, however, forgiveness should always be an option.

Read on to see what the people in the comments have to say about this difficult situation.

It won’t be easy to cut him off as long as they are living together.

The mother is enabling the brother, according to this commenter.

It isn’t always easy to cut off a family member.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who feels hoodwinked after finding out the sick father she’s been supporting has plenty of money of his own.

Not all family is real family.

This commenter cut her sister off.

He needs to set some serious boundaries and hold his brother accountable. Whether that includes cutting him off entirely or not is something only he can decide.