Woman Is Tired Of Her Friend Bringing Her Boyfriend Everywhere, Because They Never Get Any Time Alone
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Being a third wheel can be a real drag, don’t you think?
I understand that people want to spend time with their significant others, but a little space is healthy, people!
And folks who are in relationships also need to remember to keep their friendships alive.
The woman who wrote today’s story is pretty annoyed that her friend does EVERYTHING with her boyfriend.
Is she being rude?
Read on and see what you think.
AITA? My friend keeps inviting her boyfriend to everything.
“I am 23F and my friend is named M, 24F.
We live about 35 minutes away from each other but even then we don’t get to see each other much because of our schedules.
Her and I try to plan to get dinner about once every month together or just try to at least see each other when we can.
She’s a little ticked off about this…
But the problem is now, she is inviting her boyfriend J (26M) to every dinner or plans we have. I do want to say, he’s not the problem. He is genuinely a really kind and respectful guy. I like him!
He lives about 1.5 hrs away from her but they see each other every weekend. Whether she goes to him or he comes to her. That is not the problem, truly! I have no weird feelings about how much they see other.
She has a point…
I am just saying, since they do get to see each other so much more than her and I do, why would she want to invite him to everything we do?
I asked her to dinner, shopping, or anything she could fit in for next Saturday because I missed her. She told me she would love to have dinner with me and asked if sushi was okay because J wanted that.
It was time to get honest with her.
I responded with “ I wanted to mention something that has been bothering me. J is an amazing person but I do not appreciate you inviting him to every plan we make when I am only inviting you. He is your best friend, but he is not mine. I just want to be able to have some time to catch up and see you. Somethings I want to talk to you about, I do not feel comfortable talking about in front of him.”
“I have no problem hanging out with him too sometimes but you always assuming he is invited feels a little inconsiderate to me. Especially since you never check with me to see if that’s okay.”
“If Saturday is bad day to plan something with just you then that is okay! You both can enjoy y’all’s time together and we can reschedule for another time. Not trying to be rude at all but I just wanted to let you know before it blows up into something it shouldn’t.”
She’s not the only one who feels this way.
I asked a mutual friend if what I sent was nice or should I have approached it differently and she told me that she actually had to tell M the same thing but they kind of had a falling out.
So then I got worried on how she would take it because I never knew about the situation they had going on before I sent it.
M responded and told me that she understands but how I came about it was disrespectful and that she sees no problem wanting to be with her boyfriend and spend time with her friends and him.
Bingo!
I told her that I see where she’s coming from but it is also healthy to have great friendships outside of your boyfriend. She responded by saying that when I invite her to anything, I should assume he’s coming too.
So I haven’t responded yet because I want unbiased POVs to know if I was wrong?
I am the type of friend that likes to communicate everything because I never want to end a friendship over something I feel we can talk about.
I want to be clear – I STILL WANT to continue being her friend but AITA for how I approached the situation and how should I go about everything from here?”
Here’s what readers had to say about this story.
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This reader said she’s NTA.
Another individual agreed.
This reader weighed in.
Another Reddit user shared their thoughts.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman whose family wants her to spend way too much time redoing paintings to make them match.
And this individual spoke up.
I think this would be pretty annoying, too!
And, let’s admit it, we’ve all been there.
These two sound pretty co-dependent.
Jeez, talk about being a third wheel…
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