Man Suspects His Ex-Girlfriend Is Already Seeing Other People, But She Still Insists On Living In His Home
Magnific
Breakups are extra brutal when you were sharing a home.
Things get even more complicated when one person owns the property and has been covering most or all of the household expenses.
In this situation, a man recently ended his two-year relationship and initially considered letting his ex-girlfriend stay while she got back on her feet.
However, when he suggested splitting the household bills and groceries, she objected and insisted on staying longer.
Now there is no moving date in sight and he suspects she’s already seeing other people.
What would you do?
Read the full story below.
AITAH: Ex girlfriend wants to live in the house rent/bill free but provides no solid timeframes to move out
A couple of weeks ago, I broke things off with my now ex-girlfriend.
We are currently living together. I own the house, my name is on the mortgage and she has no stake in the house aside from living there. We have been together over 2 years.
To put some things into perspective, our relationship was good and we did not, nor do I think we hate each other.
I broke things off a couple of weeks ago, thought I made a mistake, but we both decided it was the right decision.
It was a normal breakup, until…
I had a discussion with her a couple days back and a few things came out. There was discussion on things we did wrong, what she lacked, and what she felt like she needed.
I believe she has been seeking those things from other people since the breakup, but I cannot confirm that and I have made that clear.
I discussed the possibility of splitting the household bills and food 50/50 moving forward to live like roommates.
To be clear, I did not ask her to split the mortgage as her name is not on it.
But this arrangement is still not comfortable for her.
When we were together, I paid for everything, food/bills/mortgage and even her mobile phone bill.
She has said that for me to demand this from her, is wrong.
She is currently working a part time role, but will eventually be looking for a full time role after she gets medication for a mental health condition (again, timeframes unknown).
I’ve said that she is no longer my financial responsibility and it is up to her, and/or her parents to help support her on this.
She told me that it will just take longer for her to move out and is now putting me in an awkward position.
He’s unsure what to do.
She has floated the idea of moving out in 3 months or so, but I do not see that being the case.
I’ve also found some things out which she denies, but I believe she has already started sleeping with other people. To be clear, what she does with her life, is her choice.
That being said, I do not have to sit idly by and let it happen, especially whilst she requests to live under the house completely rent/bill free.
It is painful to him.
I’ve stated very clearly to her parents that whilst I would have initially supported her to live/cohabitate with me, I will not be taken for granted whilst she can go and live her life, whilst I am still in the same position that I was (financially, and realistically, emotionally) and I am unable to move on with my life.
I was told I was making up lies about her (to be clear, I stated what I saw, found out or was told by her).
I said that I am unable to continue without a clear timeframe so I said she will need to be out by the end of next month.
But now he’s unsure what he did was right.
I said to her mother that moving forward, she will need to support her.
I’ve been asked to reconsider – to which I have said is unfair.
I’m trying to understand my position here. I think asking for household bills is fair, considering we are no longer together.
I appreciate she may be in a tight spot, but the past year in our relationship has also been tough for me financially.
She has two parents that love her, and a good group of friends around her. I no longer think I am responsible for her in any way, nor should I be expected to be.
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AITA?
What did Reddit think?
A reader shares their thoughts.
Another opinion.
Something to consider.
Another reader chimes in.
Hot take.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who feels hoodwinked after finding out the sick father she’s been supporting has plenty of money of his own.
That’s true.
Breakups and divorce can leave both people in a vulnerable position, so it’s understandable that someone who has limited income might need time to arrange new housing.
The ex-girlfriend may genuinely be struggling, particularly if she’s dealing with a mental health condition and trying to figure out her next steps.
Having said that, this situation is now awkward for both of them, but especially for him.
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