A Transgender Woman Walked Away in Silence After Her Father Publicly Misgendered Her—Igniting a Major Family Identity Standoff
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Parents don’t always realize how their words can impact their children.
In this story, we hear about a transgender woman who transitioned as a young adult. She was really offended when her dad introduced her to some of his friends, but he seems to think she’s the one at fault for embarrassing him in front of his friends.
Who messed up here, or could they both have handled the situation better?
Let’s read the whole story to decide.
AITA For walking always after my dad introduce me as his older son
Back story-I’m 30 years old. I’m a transgender woman who started their transition at 24.
Before my transition I was dealing with a lot of anxiety and depression.
Honestly I lost count of how many times I had to go to the psych ward.
OP’s appearance has completely changed.
Now that I finally did my medical transition i don’t look male at all.
I had intense facial feminization surgery. I wanted no traces of masculine features.
Had an 8 hour surgery also including breast augmentation.
Most people around me call me by my chosen name and use the correct pronouns.
Some Family members don’t do that. When they do call me by my dead name I always ignore them.
OP’s family went on a trip.
Well a few weeks ago my family and I went on a trip to see family.
While there my dad reconnected with old friends from high school.
While they were chatting and catching up. I brought them beers and a snack.
I never seen my dad so happy and excited.
It was time for introductions.
While I was there he ask me to get my brother so they can meet us.
He introduces my brother as his youngest son and me as his oldest son.
My Brother goes and shakes their hand because it’s a polite thing to do and my dad is extremely strict on that.
OP had a completely different response.
I simply just walked away without shaking their hand and not even saying hi.
My dad was MAD and scolded me after they were gone. He said that I embarrassed him because of my attitude.
I yelled at him that I was not his son and that his oldest son is completely DEAD.
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So am I a jerk for walking away.
Was there a better way OP could have responded in the moment, or was walking away the best thing to do?
Let’s see how Reddit responded.
This person thinks walking away was the best way to handle it.
The friends probably were confused.
This person suggests going no contact.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a mom who has to explain to her kids why they can’t keep the baby snake they found as a pet.
Another person applauds OP for staying calm.
After six years, you’d think the dad would know better, but considering his child was a boy the whole time he was living at home and growing up, it could be that old habits die hard. Regardless, OP didn’t make a scene or a fuss. She didn’t argue with her dad in front of his friends. Walking away might’ve seemed rude, but she could’ve made it even more embarrassing for her dad. Saying “oldest” instead of “oldest son” would’ve eliminated the problem entirely.
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