After Calling His Mother Out For Lying And Having Double Standards Between Him And His Sister, She Stopped Talking To Him For Months, And He Wonders If He Should Have Held His Tongue
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Parents generally want what is best for their kids, but they make mistakes when it comes to how to actually help them. When called out on those mistakes, some parents get very upset.
That is what happened in this story when a young man called his mother out for constantly threatening to kick him out of the house when he was younger, and for having a double standard with his little sister.
His mother tried to deny doing any of this, but it was obvious that she was lying. Now, she won’t even talk to her son and has been ignoring him for months, so he wonders if he should have just held his tongue and let her lie.
While lashing out in anger should be avoided, his mother is the one who needs to grow up and apologize. Read through the full details of the story and see if you agree.
AITAH for calling out my mom’s double standard between me and my sister?
My mom called me a couple of months ago and was basically venting about how frustrated she is with my sister.
His sister’s boyfriend is honest about his intentions, at least.
My sister is in her late 30s, still lives at home, and has been dating a much older man who apparently has no intention of proposing to her.
Earlier that day, my dad had a conversation with my sister’s boyfriend and asked him what his intentions were. From what my mom told me, the boyfriend basically said he had no plans to marry my sister and that she wasn’t really his priority.
The parents want what is best for their kids.
My mom was really stressed out because apparently my sister was okay with this situation, but my mom wasn’t. I asked her why our dad had to have that conversation with the boyfriend in the first place.
She said it was because my sister is incapable of having that conversation herself, so they have to step in. I told her that if my sister is a grown adult and they don’t like the choices she’s making, they should give her the option to move out and live her life however she wants.
It sounds like the parents were much stricter with him.
If she wants to follow their advice, great. If not, she’s an adult and can live independently. The reason I suggested this is because my entire twenties were basically filled with my parents threatening to kick me out over the stupidest things, especially whenever I argued with them about my independence. I eventually moved out in my late twenties.
One example: I was once threatened with having to move out if I didn’t help them pay the back taxes on their house. I was basically told that if we lost the house, it would be on me.
I ended up taking out a $13k loan to pay the government so we could keep the house. I was in my early 20s. That’s just one example.
Is Mom in denial?
Anyway, back to the present conversation. After I suggested my sister be given the option to move out if she doesn’t want to follow their advice, my mom said, “No way! I don’t want to do that. I could never do that to my children.”
And honestly, something in me just snapped. I felt really triggered, but more than that, I suddenly felt like… I wasn’t one of her children. I immediately said, “You’re a hypocrite. You literally threatened to kick me out all the time!” She said, “No, I never did that.”
At least she admitted what she did.
I could not believe what I was hearing. I called her a liar and told her she absolutely did threaten to kick me out, for YEARS. Honestly, it felt like it happened on a quarterly basis. Then she said, “You deserved it.” And hung up on me.
At the time, I didn’t think much of the conversation because this kind of thing is unfortunately not unusual with her. Anyway, my sister eventually dumped the guy a couple of days after that conversation, and after that, I noticed my mom and dad had stopped going to family events, birthdays, and get-togethers.
Mom seems very immature.
At first I assumed my mom was just upset and healing from everything that happened with my sister’s relationship since they’re highly enmeshed.
Turns out it was because of me. Confirmed by my sister. It’s now been over two months, and my mom has completely iced me out and hasn’t spoken to me.
She is embarrassed about having to admit she was wrong.
So, was I wrong for calling my mom a hypocrite and a liar after she said she could never threaten to kick one of her children out, when she literally did that to me for years and then told me I deserved it?
AITA?
People who lie really hate being called out for it, and many bad parents hate having their poor behavior exposed. He did both of these to his mother, which she more than deserved. She’ll have to get over it.
Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about all of this.
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This is easier said than done.
Becoming estranged from parents is almost never the best result.
Mom is toxic, that’s for sure.
Some parents like to see themselves as perfect.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a bride who invites her groom’s “best woman” out to dinner in order to get to the bottom of her true feelings for her future husband.
Staying close to his sister is good advice.
While his mother is clearly out of line, he shouldn’t have lashed out at her. If he wanted to discuss her hypocrisy or lying, that should have been done calmly.
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