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Imagine finding out that one of your coworkers is leaving for a new job. If you had become friends, would you want to organize a going-away celebration of some sort for this coworker?

In this story, one woman is in this situation, and she wants to have a farewell dinner for her coworker. There’s only one problem. Her coworker doesn’t want their supervisor to attend.

There are actually quite a lot of good reasons she doesn’t like the supervisor, but the real question is if it’s okay to have the dinner without the supervisor.

Let’s read the whole story to decide.

AITAH For Throwing A Going Away Luncheon Without the Supervisor

A coworker will call Amber is leaving for a new job the first week of December.

She & our supervisor has a very contentious work relationship & do not associate outside of the office.

I asked last week if she wanted to have a going away Luncheon.

She said not if Laura our supervisor is the host or will be there.

It’s easy to see why Amber doesn’t like Laura.

Can’t say I’m surprised or didn’t see this coming.

Laura is a micro manager, rude, dismissive of anything that doesn’t paint her in a fair light, a liar(I have caught her in numerous lies that impacted how I completed actions), toxic, & refuses to utilize basic human interpersonal skills when addressing those under her supervision.

I’ve watched Laura bait Amber trying to get a reaction in order to use table of consequences to negativity impact her performance evaluation, Amber receiving a negative counseling statement, impacting her bonuses, or time off award.

Here’s another example of why it’s hard to like Laura.

Another reasoning for the contentious feelings is when Amber had a very heated exchange with Laura in which she Amber was accused of botching an action that has handled by the Laura the supervisor previously.

Amber pointed this out so Laura then said the previous supervisor did if she didn’t botch the action.

I walked away as Amber told her she needed to stop blaming everyone for her mistakes & take account(we can track actions so Amber showed Laurashe made the last changes).

Laura is also jealous.

Laura is jealous of the previous supervisor that left & the close relationship he had with everyone in our office & the organization.

Laura gets to the point where she will not allow his name to be mentioned & will go so far as to walk away if he’s mentioned by anyone in the organization.

So with that background it’s no wonder Amber wants nothing to do with Laura.

OP had an idea.

So I asked Amber if she willing to have a farewell dinner outside of work with the people from the office she wants invited.

I will coordinate everything via my personal cellphone nothing will be sent via official work email. And I will tell all invited that this is after hours & to not use official work emails to communicate any info I impart about dates & time.

We really want to wish Amber farewell but won’t be able to if Laura is involved so AITAH for doing this without Laura even though I know it will definitely lead to passive-aggressive retaliation for me & anyone who attends.

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If she, as Amber’s friend, wants to host a going-away celebration among friends after work, there’s nothing to stop her. If it just so happens that Laura’s not on the guest list, that’s no big deal. It’s not like they’re friends.

Let’s see if Reddit agrees.

Here’s a warning and a question.

This person doesn’t see a problem with a party minus the supervisor.

Another person thinks it’s okay to have an after-work get-together.

It doesn’t have to be an official party or send-off. It can just be some coworkers getting together after work. There’s nothing wrong with that.

If the supervisor finds out everyone was invited except her, there will probably be payback, though. She needs to decide if it’s worth it.

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Author

Jayne Elliott

Jayne Elliott | Contributing Writer, Life & Drama

Jayne Elliott is a contributing writer and editor for TwistedSifter specializing in human interest stories, internet culture, and family dynamics. With over 12 years of editorial experience in digital publishing, Jayne excels at analyzing complex online communities and transforming viral social debates into thoughtful, highly engaging narratives.

Rather than simply aggregating internet drama, Jayne brings a sharp, empathetic editorial eye to everyday dilemmas. She has a unique talent for unpacking the nuances of pop culture and online conflicts, providing readers with relatable, well-researched commentary.

Based in California, Jayne spends her free time outside the newsroom exploring theme parks with her family or beach-combing along the coast.

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