Families tend to split into the people who show up in the moment and the people who send their regards after the fact.

One woman was firmly in the first group when her mother entered hospice. She was by her side every day and held her hand at the very end.

Her brothers, however, were nowhere to be found. One barely visited and then claimed to a friend of their mom’s that he’d been there daily, and the other couldn’t face seeing her so sick.

Now the family is dividing up what remains of their mother, and the woman is struggling with the idea of giving her brothers any of her ashes.

She doesn’t know whether holding back would make her the AH.

Keep reading for the full story.

WIBTA for not giving my brothers my mother’s ashes.

My mother passed away last week, and I was there every single day while she was on hospice. She declined super fast, and it was hard to watch.

Not all of the family was thee to support her.

But one of my brothers did not show up for 99% of it, and then he lied to one of my mom’s friends that he was there every day. Me and my dad corrected it after he left.

And the other one wasn’t there whatsoever because he “didn’t want to see her like that.”

This woman did everything she could to make life comfortable for her mother.

I was there for her last breath, and I took care of her every morning.

I called my dad and asked if he needed anything, but even if you didn’t, usually I went over and helped anyway, ’cause I know my dad got tired.

I helped my mom the whole time alongside my dad. And then, right after my mom passed away, I was there for her final breath. I watched her breathing slow, and I watched go.

But she can’t say the same about her siblings.

Neither of them were there.

On top of all of that, one of them had this girlfriend who also never visited but had the audacity to ask my dad if she could have some ashes, too.

She’s not about to bend over backwards for people who never once helped the family.

I don’t feel comfortable giving him any, knowing that she’s going to get some, too, when she never visited either.

WIBTA to not give either of them any of her ashes?

Sounds like this is a completely reasonable line to draw.

What did Reddit have to say?

This user defends the brothers.

It’s time to really think through what withholding the ashes would actually accomplish.

It’s difficult to think clearly when you’re grieving.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman who can’t complete her work-from-home duties because her mom’s houseguest won’t stop talking.

Maybe she should just leave it up to someone else to decide.

Her anger makes sense, and so does the pushback she got. Both can be true at once.

She did nearly everything for her mom, and the brothers who skipped it have no claim on her gratitude. One of them lied about being there, which is a hard thing to forgive in the same week as a funeral.

Many redditors voted YTA, but it’s easy to type from a couch with nothing at stake.

Sure, she may be angry at her brothers now, but she would likely come to regret excluding them from the opportunity to experience closure.

She doesn’t owe them forgiveness, but maybe she owes them a little mercy.