Pexels/Reddit

Being a good friend sometimes means saying the thing nobody wants to hear.

One woman’s friend kept getting ghosted after dates from the apps, and each rejection left her more upset than the last. The friend assumed she was just unlucky.

A recent date gave her a different answer. He texted afterward that she seemed sweet, but her photos weren’t current and didn’t do her justice. She showed her friend the profile, hoping for reassurance, and the friend had to admit he had a point.

The pictures were from a year ago, after a major weight loss, and she’d since put much of it back on while insisting she looked the same.

This is a tough one — you’ll want to keep reading.

WIBTAH if I told my friend she is being a catfish

My friend is on the dating apps, and she keeps having terrible luck.

All the bad luck is really starting to wear on this friend’s self esteem.

Meets guys, maybe hooks up once, and then they ghost. It’s a never-ending pattern. She is always upset and miserable.

Then the other day, she had a first date and said that the vibe felt off the whole time.

Soon, one of her matches gave her a clue as to what was really going on.

Afterward, the guy texted her that she seemed sweet, but that her profile pics didn’t seem current and didn’t represent her well.

She was devastated, naturally, and had me look at her profile, and… he’s right.

She explains the situation.

She had lost a ton of weight on a GLP-1 a year ago, and she has gained a lot back and is in total denial about it. She is completely misrepresenting herself and catfishing these guys!

That’s why nothing is working out for her. But she thinks she looks the same.

WIBTAH if I told her this?

This is a tough one.

What did Reddit have to say?

With delicate matters like these, it’s important to spin them properly.

This is going to be an uphill battle.

Navigating dating apps is a science, and you have to get the balance right.

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If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a person who changed their minds about donated items, only to return to the shop to find them all sold.

There may be larger issues at play here that require professional intervention.

Her friend has been watching the same sad pattern repeat itself for months, and now she finally has the answer. It’s hard to watch your friend hurting when a solution is sitting right there.

At a certain point, staying quiet is going to sting just as much as another round of ghosting.

How the woman chooses to frame her friend’s intervention is everything.

A simple, kind, “I think your photos could use an update” could go a long way here.

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Author

Benjamin Cottrell

Benjamin Cottrell | Assistant Editor, Internet Culture

Benjamin Cottrell is an Assistant Editor and contributing writer at TwistedSifter, specializing in internet culture, viral social dynamics, and the moral complexities of online communities. He brings a highly analytical, editorial voice to his reporting on workplace conflicts, malicious compliance, and interpersonal drama, with a specific focus on nuanced stories that lack an obvious villain.

As a published author of rhetorical criticism, Benjamin leverages his academic background in human communication to dissect and elevate viral social media threads. Instead of simply summarizing events, he provides readers with balanced, deep-dive commentary into why the internet reacts the way it does. In addition to his cultural reporting, he is an experienced fine art photography essayist and video game reviewer.

When he isn’t analyzing the latest viral debates, Benjamin is usually chipping away at his extensive video game backlog, hunting down the best new restaurants, or out exploring the city with a camera in hand.

Connect with Benjamin on Instagram and read more of his essays on Substack.